We Drank a Toast to Innocence; We Drank a Toast to Now
RIP Dan Fogelberg...
I think Denis Leary said it best in "No Cure For Cancer" (boy, that's tragically ironic):
"Explain it to me. Heavy metal bands on trial because kids commit suicide, what is that about? Judas Priest on trial because my kid bought the records, and he listened to the lyrics, and he go into Satan... ALLALALALALALLALA! Well that's great. That sets a legal precedent. Does that mean I can sue Dan Fogelberg for making me into a pussy in the mid '70s, is that possible, HUH?"
Well, regardless, here's a video tribute to one of TLBR's top five all-time narrative songs - "Same Auld Lang Syne." ----- Karaoke video.
(I bet you that you can't make it 45 seconds. Seriously. 45 seconds. Have you ever noticed how shampooing bad karaoke videos are? Or is it a sad commentary that I've done enough karaoke that I've seen my share of the terrible videos? Seriously, this video makes no sense. The brown acid is not even an excuse for how bad it is. Or mild retardation. Or severe. At one point, the whole shampooing thing is just spinning. Is that supposed to be a metaphor for the larger point that seeing an old flame sends you spinning? I remember when I drank two bottles of Mad Dog 20/20 over crushed ice my freshman year, then ordered cheese ravioli. The room was spinning that night, but it had nothing to do with Dan Fogelberg. In fact, if I recall correctly, I kept it down. I fear if someone had put on a CD with "Leader of the Shampooing Band" and how his eyes are growing old I think I'd have wretched as my life would have merely been a poor attempt to imitate the man.)
----- But this next video's amazing. I mean, do you see how many people bought a ticket to a Dan Fogelberg concert? Are you shitting me? I now know the sound of 20,000 people golf clapping. Ernie Els putting out for a 6-over 78 on the final round of the Byron Nelson gets a louder reception.
And your man has a leather vest and a pony tail. Mr. Sensitive Pony Tail guy, drinking a six-pack in the car with his ex-girlfriend. Chivalry ain't shampooing dead, is it?
----- Oh but wait, here's what happens when the good folks at the Hallmark Hall of Fame do their karaoke version of the song. I'm waiting for Swoozy Kurtz or Delta Burke to be the one who married her an architect who kept her warm and safe and dry.
----- No...no...it's get better. Star power. Edward Norton and Rosario Dawson in "Same Auld Lang Syne - A Spike Lee Joint."
I especially think the tone and candor of the song is captured by the scene in which a forlorn Norton looks in his mirror and staring back at him is a broken man. And "fuck you" written in permanent marker in the lower right corner. Then it's Dawson, dancing to that really annoying "Blue Da-ba-dee, Da-ba-da" song at Webster Hall, while the aforementioned forlorn Norton walks the mean streets of the naked city.
----- Ready for another the Same Auld Sack of Steaming Shit?
Another karaoke video.
Look folks, it's an easy song to follow. Even if you're on acid. Or mildly retarded.
Seriously, why bother taking the time to produce this dreck? I mean, it's one thing if you have something funny or serious, or something seriously funny. But after the hours (or in this case, minutes), are you proud of this work?
Do you send the link to friends? Do you put "See my Dan Fogelberg tribute video" in the subject? Do you call people right after clicking "send" and yell about flying purple paisley dogs so they think you're on acid? Do you purposely misspell a few words to make people think you're mildly retarded?
----- She so slept with Dan Fogelberg between 1974-77. ----- This one made no sense, but I like it best. Why? Because about 10 minutes ago, I thought to myself: two things that would just go together swimmingly would be Japanese androgynous anime and soft rock. And voila! C'est-ca.
----- There are two conceivable explanations for the next video: Acid and mild retardation. But admit it fellas, you have two reasons why you're still watching.
----- I can't really mock this one all that much, because I think it's an honest-to-goodness Dan Fogelberg fan who probably let "the one" slip away and he's regretted each and every day since.
To chronicle his regret, he made this video tribute to her. It's complete with old photographs and memories of the good old days - from proms to pageants. They're the sort of halcyon days which he recalls fondly. He'll put them all in a YouTube video, and perhaps email the link to his old flame.
Then he's going to visit the mall in Omaha one last time.
Ok, that's all for now. Hope that satisfies you Marko.