Monday, May 16, 2005
Monday, Monday; Can't Trust That Day
Do you prefer your women shaved?
No, no, no, that's not what I meant. (pervert) I'm referring to Ms. Natalie Portman, aka plain Jane Jones, aka Queen Amidala, aka Mathilda...
Now, I was supposed to accompany Nat to "Revenge of the Silt" opening at the Cannes Film Festival, but I had to work a pinnacle doubleheader at Salesian Field and couldn't make it. But nonetheless, the photo of my jumpoff - my "boo" if you must - came as a great surprise. (author's note: in the efforts of authenticity, I'm lying about all that stuff.)
Despite Portman getting tons of ink on this site, it's safe to say I'm not some obsessed fan. There is a natalieportman.com, which is a fan site - and where I found the "shaved photos." A 20-spot on the fact that their webmaster has the matching Portman pillowcases and sham.
I also saw that some d-bag Oakland fan threw his beer at Jason Giambi on Saturday night. A few things irk me about this situation:
1. Fans should never throw anything onto the field of play. Anytime. Ever. Even at a Yankee. Fans should also not attempt to take a swing at an athlete. Even at a Yankee, Chris House.
Be happy you're at a game, being entertained by the professionals on the field, court, pitch, etc. You don't know them...and even if you got an autograph from one of them at the 99 Restaurant when he were taking his kids out for chicken fingers (you know who you are)...you simply don't know them. Let them go about their business. To quote a local mid-major basketball coach, "let the players play the game...let the players play the game...let the players play the game, Richie." And what are Oakland fans mad at? Do you want another .200 hitter in your lineup? I think the A's already have the market cornered on that one.
2. How much are beers at the ballpark these days, seven or eight bucks? It should be a class E felony to purposely spill your beer. Seriously. If the punishment for getting caught with a dimebag in Indonesia is death by firing squad, then purposely throwing your beer should be at least 3-5, minimum security.
3. Eyewitnesses on the scene said that the guy threw a backdoor slider with his cup and Giambi swung and missed at the beer. (I keed, I keed...)
Did something healthy yesterday and today. Ate broccoli for dinner last night and then walked to work this a.m. It was a nice walk, actually. It took about 28 minutes - roughly 12 minutes longer than when I drive. It's fitness week...and it's contagious. Catch the fever.
Dave Chappelle. I don't get it. I don't get famous people, making tons of money doing what they like and what they're good at, "losing it."
Kurt Cobain. Rock star. Millionaire. Depressed. Suicide. Ditto Billy Corgan, minus calling "shotgun."
Chappelle has done more for race relations, for comedy, and for television in the last two years than anyone in my generation. I'm dead serious about that. How many shows have brought people of all ethnic backgrounds together? How many caucasians know 'Lil Jon now? Or Charlie Murphy's "True Hollywood Stories?" The Chappelle skit with he and John Mayer was one of the funniest I've ever seen. he gave Rick James a rebirth in his career (before cocaine sorta ended it abruptly.)
Whatever Chappelle needs to figure out, I hope he does it. And quickly. Skeet-skeet-skeet.
One.
No, no, no, that's not what I meant. (pervert) I'm referring to Ms. Natalie Portman, aka plain Jane Jones, aka Queen Amidala, aka Mathilda...
Now, I was supposed to accompany Nat to "Revenge of the Silt" opening at the Cannes Film Festival, but I had to work a pinnacle doubleheader at Salesian Field and couldn't make it. But nonetheless, the photo of my jumpoff - my "boo" if you must - came as a great surprise. (author's note: in the efforts of authenticity, I'm lying about all that stuff.)
Despite Portman getting tons of ink on this site, it's safe to say I'm not some obsessed fan. There is a natalieportman.com, which is a fan site - and where I found the "shaved photos." A 20-spot on the fact that their webmaster has the matching Portman pillowcases and sham.
I also saw that some d-bag Oakland fan threw his beer at Jason Giambi on Saturday night. A few things irk me about this situation:
1. Fans should never throw anything onto the field of play. Anytime. Ever. Even at a Yankee. Fans should also not attempt to take a swing at an athlete. Even at a Yankee, Chris House.
Be happy you're at a game, being entertained by the professionals on the field, court, pitch, etc. You don't know them...and even if you got an autograph from one of them at the 99 Restaurant when he were taking his kids out for chicken fingers (you know who you are)...you simply don't know them. Let them go about their business. To quote a local mid-major basketball coach, "let the players play the game...let the players play the game...let the players play the game, Richie." And what are Oakland fans mad at? Do you want another .200 hitter in your lineup? I think the A's already have the market cornered on that one.
2. How much are beers at the ballpark these days, seven or eight bucks? It should be a class E felony to purposely spill your beer. Seriously. If the punishment for getting caught with a dimebag in Indonesia is death by firing squad, then purposely throwing your beer should be at least 3-5, minimum security.
3. Eyewitnesses on the scene said that the guy threw a backdoor slider with his cup and Giambi swung and missed at the beer. (I keed, I keed...)
Did something healthy yesterday and today. Ate broccoli for dinner last night and then walked to work this a.m. It was a nice walk, actually. It took about 28 minutes - roughly 12 minutes longer than when I drive. It's fitness week...and it's contagious. Catch the fever.
Dave Chappelle. I don't get it. I don't get famous people, making tons of money doing what they like and what they're good at, "losing it."
Kurt Cobain. Rock star. Millionaire. Depressed. Suicide. Ditto Billy Corgan, minus calling "shotgun."
Chappelle has done more for race relations, for comedy, and for television in the last two years than anyone in my generation. I'm dead serious about that. How many shows have brought people of all ethnic backgrounds together? How many caucasians know 'Lil Jon now? Or Charlie Murphy's "True Hollywood Stories?" The Chappelle skit with he and John Mayer was one of the funniest I've ever seen. he gave Rick James a rebirth in his career (before cocaine sorta ended it abruptly.)
Whatever Chappelle needs to figure out, I hope he does it. And quickly. Skeet-skeet-skeet.
One.
