Friday, June 24, 2005
Friday Night Lights
The weekend is here and so is the Triple H weather - hazy, hot, and humid. So stay cool, find a beach, a boat, or some air conditioning.
Tomorrow, I'll be off for a weekend of international mystery, intrigue, and aura. Or, at least, that's what their stagenames will be... (for the record, I am not a fan of strip clubs, but as Ron Burgandy once said "When In Rome...")
For those of you who enjoyed the Oz Blog, I will be producing "Une Blogge Montreal." It will most definately be shorter, but hopefully no less entertaining. It'll be just like you were there, except, you weren't.
So enjoy the weekend, the links, and go Sox, Mets, and Braves.
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The daily morning pilgrimage to Dunkin was particularly painful. First off, the two cars in front of me had drivers older than Randy Johnson and Kevin Brown (here a Yankee dig, there a Yankee dig, everywhere a dig, dig...) who, despite having their left blinkah on forever, took longer than forever to maneuver the turn. Once inside the place, it was the sound of chaos. Little kids running around and screaming in Spanish and English. A landscaping crew all came in, covered in grass and dying for 12 different varieties of iced coffee. The 40-year old-plus woman in front of me was holding a full-on conversation over her Nextel speakerphone, complete with the annoying "brrrrrrlip!" sound everytime she detailed her trip to the club last night. And the television that has CNN's Morning Show on was trying to air an interview with Vice President Evil, er, Cheney that I had some varying degree of interest in listening to. All this for a large, skim, one sugar.
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I don't normally find myself a big fan of Mike Lupica. Until this morning, when "the Lip" wrote a beautiful column on George Jefferson, the 20-year old young man from St. Peter's College. Stop what you're doing and grab some tissues before clicking the link: a must read: http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/322032p-275332c.html
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Read this in the gossip columns: Former Yankee slugger Jim Leyritz and party king Keith Collins downed Grey Goose while shooing away a bevy of about 10 porn stars and three little people celebrating their various film wraps at Collins' soiree at Quo on W. 28th the other night.
So what? I still hate him. And why is he relevant? Was he in the porno with the midgets? Because that'd be news. I guess those World Series home runs almost a decade ago have a pretty good shelf life. He. Was. A. True. Yankee. (the dogs bollocks, he was)
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And this from Red Sox centerfielder/Charles Manson impersonator Johnny Damon:
Oh man, where do I begin here?
(ahem) Johnny, you've been one of my favorite players since you signed with the Sox. And I give you lots of credit for being good with the fans and whatnot. I'll never forget you making me forget that you are 2-26 entering game seven of the 2004 ALCS before you had six RBI. B I take issue with your "a lot of teams out there who are going to want me" quote.
Let's review: your agent is Scott Boras, so that eliminates about 20 teams right out of the hopper. Teams that can afford you: Boston, both New Yorks...maybe Baltimore, Atlanta, Philly, St. Louis, and both Los Angeles' (on a side note, the Angels play more games in Oakland than they do in LA...)
So let's gauge the interest level from the aforementioned team: the CFY might be interested because Bernie Williams is about as old as the two ladies who took a week to pahk their cah in the loht this mohning at DD. The Mets have Beltran, so no there. Baltimore has Luis Matos, who they're pretty happy with and besides, they'd rather spend their money on pitching. Atlanta has Andruw Jones, so no shot there. Philly does need a centerfielder, but let's not forget that your wife wants to have a career on television. Philly would not be the best place on Earth for that. St. Louis has Jim Edmonds, so nope to the worst best fans in baseball. The Angels could be interested, as Steve Finley is old, but the Dodgers have crazy Milton Bradley in center and JD Drew in right. Possible, seeing as how Drew is a Boras guy, but unlikely that you join the fray.
Plus, add in the fact that your broken body is in need of days off and is more injury-prone, a five year deal might be hard to come by. But, of course, your agent has probably already told you this.
-----
A loyal reader has provided with the following link: http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/
It's good times and fun for hours.
-----
And I'll leave you with this: http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/octogenarian-plans-return-to-sea/2005/06/24/1119321904336.html
Tthat's pretty much my plan, too. A nice spacious boat, moored up somewhere in Sydney Harbour. And one in newport. And san diego (the literal translation was lost hundreds of years ago). And Monaco. And...
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C'est ca, mes petites chous. Avons une fin de semaine magnifique!
Une.
Tomorrow, I'll be off for a weekend of international mystery, intrigue, and aura. Or, at least, that's what their stagenames will be... (for the record, I am not a fan of strip clubs, but as Ron Burgandy once said "When In Rome...")
For those of you who enjoyed the Oz Blog, I will be producing "Une Blogge Montreal." It will most definately be shorter, but hopefully no less entertaining. It'll be just like you were there, except, you weren't.
So enjoy the weekend, the links, and go Sox, Mets, and Braves.
-----
The daily morning pilgrimage to Dunkin was particularly painful. First off, the two cars in front of me had drivers older than Randy Johnson and Kevin Brown (here a Yankee dig, there a Yankee dig, everywhere a dig, dig...) who, despite having their left blinkah on forever, took longer than forever to maneuver the turn. Once inside the place, it was the sound of chaos. Little kids running around and screaming in Spanish and English. A landscaping crew all came in, covered in grass and dying for 12 different varieties of iced coffee. The 40-year old-plus woman in front of me was holding a full-on conversation over her Nextel speakerphone, complete with the annoying "brrrrrrlip!" sound everytime she detailed her trip to the club last night. And the television that has CNN's Morning Show on was trying to air an interview with Vice President Evil, er, Cheney that I had some varying degree of interest in listening to. All this for a large, skim, one sugar.
-----
I don't normally find myself a big fan of Mike Lupica. Until this morning, when "the Lip" wrote a beautiful column on George Jefferson, the 20-year old young man from St. Peter's College. Stop what you're doing and grab some tissues before clicking the link: a must read: http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/322032p-275332c.html
-----
Read this in the gossip columns: Former Yankee slugger Jim Leyritz and party king Keith Collins downed Grey Goose while shooing away a bevy of about 10 porn stars and three little people celebrating their various film wraps at Collins' soiree at Quo on W. 28th the other night.
So what? I still hate him. And why is he relevant? Was he in the porno with the midgets? Because that'd be news. I guess those World Series home runs almost a decade ago have a pretty good shelf life. He. Was. A. True. Yankee. (the dogs bollocks, he was)
-----
And this from Red Sox centerfielder/Charles Manson impersonator Johnny Damon:
"When I get to free agency, I'm going to talk to a lot of players because I know there's a lot of teams out there who are going to want me,'' said Damon. "I'm going to take my time, call guys like Kevin Millar, Billy Mueller, see where they end up, guys I've enjoyed playing with here. Put a package together, that's how much I care for these guys and how much they care for me. When I'm a free agent, I'll call Kevin and say, 'Hey, who wants you?' I'll tell him who wants me and we'll turn another clubhouse inside out.''
Oh man, where do I begin here?
(ahem) Johnny, you've been one of my favorite players since you signed with the Sox. And I give you lots of credit for being good with the fans and whatnot. I'll never forget you making me forget that you are 2-26 entering game seven of the 2004 ALCS before you had six RBI. B I take issue with your "a lot of teams out there who are going to want me" quote.
Let's review: your agent is Scott Boras, so that eliminates about 20 teams right out of the hopper. Teams that can afford you: Boston, both New Yorks...maybe Baltimore, Atlanta, Philly, St. Louis, and both Los Angeles' (on a side note, the Angels play more games in Oakland than they do in LA...)
So let's gauge the interest level from the aforementioned team: the CFY might be interested because Bernie Williams is about as old as the two ladies who took a week to pahk their cah in the loht this mohning at DD. The Mets have Beltran, so no there. Baltimore has Luis Matos, who they're pretty happy with and besides, they'd rather spend their money on pitching. Atlanta has Andruw Jones, so no shot there. Philly does need a centerfielder, but let's not forget that your wife wants to have a career on television. Philly would not be the best place on Earth for that. St. Louis has Jim Edmonds, so nope to the worst best fans in baseball. The Angels could be interested, as Steve Finley is old, but the Dodgers have crazy Milton Bradley in center and JD Drew in right. Possible, seeing as how Drew is a Boras guy, but unlikely that you join the fray.
Plus, add in the fact that your broken body is in need of days off and is more injury-prone, a five year deal might be hard to come by. But, of course, your agent has probably already told you this.
-----
A loyal reader has provided with the following link: http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/
It's good times and fun for hours.
-----
And I'll leave you with this: http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/octogenarian-plans-return-to-sea/2005/06/24/1119321904336.html
Tthat's pretty much my plan, too. A nice spacious boat, moored up somewhere in Sydney Harbour. And one in newport. And san diego (the literal translation was lost hundreds of years ago). And Monaco. And...
-----
C'est ca, mes petites chous. Avons une fin de semaine magnifique!
Une.
