It's Chewsday, chew know... I've come up with an idea that combines my love of sarcasm and satire, along with my uncanny ability to research/cyberstalk.

(with apologies to Andy Rooney) Didja ever notice when photos/postcards are taped up in local delis and pizzerias? Some are from family members, but a good number of them are friends or customers that send them along.

"Dear Angelo and Joey: Having a great time on the plains of the Serengeti, but boy I can't find a good slice of sicilian anywhere..."

Well, I'm going to start sending these to random restaurants. Or send them all to the same restaurant. Maybe they'll be postcards. Maybe they'll be photos of me. Maybe I'll just get a camera and start taking photos of strangers and send them along. Just a thought. Ok, onto the bullets (and if you're wondering, the Hand will return this week)

• Jimmy Key? What's he, like 45? I could hit him.
• Nextel phones suck...they suck.
• God damn, Mark Bellhorn is hitting .228? Why haven't i noticed this? Why haven't I paid more attention? Why aren't I more outraged? Now I'm mad. I'm mad at you, you no-hitting, stoned looking Joe Thornton clone.
• Thirty minutes of Spade doing his "Hollywood Minute" skit on Comedy Central? Sign me up. As bad as SNL has gotten, the glaring exceptions are Tina Fey and those cute glasses (face scar or no face scar, Tina's good people) and the mock British entertainment/gossip show with Amy Poehler.
• My favorite old Spade Hollywood Minute line? "Chaplin? More like 'Craplin.' My 10 year old cousin made that up."
• I want a boat.
• And a tiki bar.

That's all. Like U2 sings... One.

R.I.P. George Jefferson. Prayers and deepest sympathy to his family and the Peacock Basketball family.

  ¶ 8:43 PM