Thank God It's Not Monday Was going to go with a Hand today, but due to the lack of time and space (apologies to Heidigger, dasein and total spatiality), here's the latest "what's on my mind" stuff:

• Read that Tom Cruise proposed to Katie Holmes on top of the Eiffel Tower, because "it's romantic." That's cool. One time in college, after it began to rain at the end of "50 nights," I made out with a chick in a port-o-potty. (hey, it was dry...) The relevance of those two, I dunno. just thought I'd bare my scarred soul.
• And if you read the NY tabloids today, "Randy Johnson is back." Last night against the Pirates - by the way, Randy made more $$$ in the 4th inning than Freddy Sanchez and the Wilsons (Jack and Craig, not Owen and Luke) combined - and it was his "Arrival as a Yankee." I hate that crap, earning your Pinstripes. Puhlease.
• So Randy's back...but what about Kevin Brown's back? (combined age: about 80).
  I'm just not buying this. When the Big Unit pitched against the Sox a few weeks back, he regularly touched 94-96 on the gun (where was that calibrated, by the way?) and looked "strong." Then he proceeded to look like Randy Choate against the Royals. The Unit is old. So is Brown. And, for the sake of balance, so is Curt Schilling. So RJ dialled it up last night, so effing what? Like Beansie said in Old School, "He's old. And dammit, old people die." I'm not wishing or advocating wishing physical death on RJ or Brownie (not this week, at least), but can we stop with the superlatives and admit that they're in the September of their careers in mid-June?
• Ok, when Michael Jackson's lawyer came out with the statement the other day that he would never again share his bed with little boys, I refrained from comment. I held back. It was too easy.
• No, actually, it was TOO easy. Glad he paid 1,500 bucks an hour for that sound advice. Next thing you know, to pay for his legal bills, he's gonna sell "Paperback Writer" to Amazon.com and "Imagine" to McDonald's or something. Somewhere, George Harrison is telling John Lennon that happiness, as a warm gun, would be if he fired a glock semi at LaToya and Randy and Tito and Jermaine.
• But now the Jackson family wants a reality show. If there is a god in heaven, if there is a law on the books, there needs to be a stop to this. There is no way on this green earth that this family should be able to profit from this notoriety. If it's a show where they all jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge at the same time, to quote a J5 classic, "I'll be there." Otherwise, spare all of us.
• No conspiracy theories here, but boy, with the lockout staring over David Stern's shoulder like impending danger, do you really think the Pistons/Spurs series ISN'T going seven? Hell, Ii'm waiting for him to come out and amend the 2005 finals to a best of 81.
• Just scored two front row to Coldplay in Hartford, thanks to my good friend Uncle Marc. Cheers.

Off to Vermont Day (night) tomorrow at the Fens and then to watch the Blue Angels buzz the tower at my parent's house. Eyewitness accounts (my mom) said that they were so close to the backyard yesterday, that she could see the pilot. No confirmation if he waved hello.

Enjoy the weekend. Uno.  ¶ 10:58 AM