In no particular order, here are today's issues:
- Joe Mazzulla, schoolboy standout in basketball, verbally committed to West Virginia and head coach John Beilein. Now, TLBR has its all-time blood favorite Big East team dating back to childhood (Providence), it's newer national champion faves (Syracuse, UConn), and it's hopefully potential fave/future employer (St. John's). But by virtue of the modified Princeton offense, its ability to run an offense as beautiful as a Picasso, a 1-3-1 zone trap defense, and the fact that no matter where on the floor, when on the :35 shot clock, or which player, there is always an open shot...WVU has made the cut in the Best. Basketball. Conference. Ever. Good for Joe, who I might add, went to a great high school. Now get ready to watch him flash cut to the basket and trap at the top of the key for the next four years.
- Another individual from that same great high school with the impeccable academic and athletic standards - Rocco Baldelli - was also in the news today, albeit for a less happy occasion. The Devil Ray centerfielder, who was recovering from off-season knee surgery, tore his ulnar collateral ligament in his elbow, requiring "Tommy John Surgery." Doctors do these about 100 times a week, so it's almost routine. And generally, the patient comes back with flying colors and with a stronger arm than before. So memo to Coach Sveum: don't send Millar to score from second on a single to the left-centerfield gap. It ain't never gonna happen. And it gives him time to completely rehab the knee. Look for a big 2006 for the Pride of Woonsocket.
- The US Open begins today, it's on in the office, and all I can say is "Go Tiger." Yeah, rooting for Tiger might seem like rooting for the IRS in an audit or the Yankees...ever...but screw it. I'm not a hater. Go Tiger. And Go Phil. Can't go wrong with either. On the other side of the scale, here's hoping Vijay gets stuck in quicksand.
- Is Jose Guillen the next Carl Everett? After Tuesday night's stupidity over pine tar - which included the benches clearing and a bunch of overpaid men in tight pants yelling obscenities at each other for no apparent reason near the pitchers mound - the other night between the Angels and the Nationals, former Angel Guillen had this to say about his former manager: "I'm so happy that I wasn't the first one to be in the middle because I don't know what would have happened there. I am so happy that my teammates grabbed me and dragged me back to the dugout because if I was right in the middle, the story was going to be different."
What's that about staying quiet and being thought an idiot than opening your mouth and dispelling all doubt?
- And speaking of Captain Carl, baseball's anti-William Jennings Bryan, here is the latest episode of sports media's "Letting Idiots Speak," Someone gave this genius a forum, and now, I poop on it: "Fan is short for fanatic -- he's crazy about something he really doesn't know about. And it's proven that 99 percent of baseball fans have no idea what they're watching."
Thanks for the etymology lesson and I'm going to have to call you on this one. I'm a fan. And, yes, we do have an idea of what we're watching. We're watching your career dwindle, dying slowly like a dehydrated dog in the desert.
- And more...Everett has had gay teammates, whom he has accepted, but: "Gays being gay is wrong. Two women can't produce a baby, two men can't produce a baby, so it's not how it's supposed to be. ... I don't believe in gay marriages. I don't believe in being gay."
That's great, family values from the guy who got tossed from (and suspended thereafter) for arguing with an umpire two straight years...ON FAMILY DAY.
- And in closing, there's the one about the congressional hearings examining steroid use: "We have a war going on -- I have family in that war -- yet we're talking about steroids. ... If everybody in the world got on steroids, we'll still lose more kids to a war than we will from steroids."
Well, I'd give you a pass on this one, but since you proved your scientific acumen with the whole "boys have penises, girls have vaginas" theory with his stance on the gay issue, I would argue that if everyone were on steroids, then everyone would have "'roid rage," and then I'd seem to think that the world would be a giant battle royale with everyone trying to throw each other over the top rope and eliminate them. Even people from Luxembourg.
- And the last one from Carl about Jose Canseco: "He is a bitter, ignorant individual."
Ok, I'll give you that one, pal. One outta four, that's .250. And that's better than what you're doing this year.
- And speaking of gay people, did you see the repeated rump-slapping and ass-grabbing from A-Rod to Captain Jeter after the walkoff (sorry, Bose, "game-winning") home run by Jason Giambi last night? It made the Yankee dugout look a pinstriped RuPaul appreciation night.
Enough from me, I'm ghost. One. (p.s. - good luck Kyle)