If you do the prayer thing, please include Red Sox pitcher Matt Clement in them. Clement took a nasty line drive off the right side of his face tonight in a game against the Devil Rays
And if you don't do the prayer thing, do the concern thing.
But this just chapped my ass...so I'll temper the language with the "shampoo tool" - everytime I want to swear, I will replace said expletive with the word "shampoo." Here goes.
A guy gets shampooing drilled on the mound, you get worried that his life - not just his shampooing pitching career is in jeopardy - and that stupid mother shampooing happy heckler guy is still shampooing yelling dumb shampoo at Doug Mirabelli. Can you get any more shampooing lame? Pal, you're a shampooing Devil Ray fan. You go to Tropicana Field, the biggest piece of shampoo professional venue in the world, and you yell shampoo in a stupid shampooing voice at professional baseball players. But that's not enough, you've created some shampooing persona out of this. And curses to NESN for continually putting microphone near this shampoo head.
Get a life. Get a shampooing life, shampoobag.
I don't care about your book, don't care about your philanthropy, don't care what shampoo you say on the field...it's not fun, it's not funny, eat a bag of warm shampoo, you suck.