Thursday, July 21, 2005
  Thursday Night's Alright for Reverse Blogging
This post is done backwards - to start from the first inning, go to the end of the post and work your way back to this point.
Pop up for pesky Posednick. One down.

Iguchi K's. Two down.

And Captain Carl K's to end it.

Big, big win for the Red Sox. And a fond farewell to the White Sox announcers. This weekend, I'll have the listening pleasure of Don-O and RemDawg...two folks who are certainly FOR the home team, but don't root like they're the fucking players wives.

Go Halos. Uno.
Schill on the hill and they're playing "Welcome to the Jungle." Isn't that his song?

Boy, kudos to the Comiskey D.J. I suppose the Standells are cued up.

Three outs to go. Mow 'em down.
Papi. Manny. Tek. Those are the guys you want up in the ninth.

Papi chops one off the plate, one down.

Joe Crede tries to get cute on Manny with a potential FF5. He drops it. Instant karma's gonna getcha, Joe. And quick. Manny says "Up yer butt, Joe-boo." Big fly. Left center. 6-5 Sox.

Tek shorthops the fence in left for a double. I like the way this is going.

Professional hitter, John Olerud up. And five words you don't say often - infield hit for John Olerud - comes to play.

1st and 2nd, one down for Trot. And he hits into the 6-4-3, to the sheer delight of Hawk.
Crap. Tied at 5. Tough at-bat, tough pitch. Going to the ninth.

I guess that's a blown save for Schill.
Groundout to Olerud. Two down. Four to go.
There's a puddle in Hawk's pants - Rowand got a hit. Yay! Squeal with glee! Clap hands rhythmically.
Now Curt's hitting 9o on the gun. Crank it up.
Nice third-strike slider to AJ Pierzynski. Five outs to go.
Schilling in 8th? Hmmm... Interesting.

This might be step one in getting him stretched out. Or maybe it's just that Mike Myers and Chad Bradford suck.

And these guys - Hawk and DJ - are literally rooting against Curt Schilling in their intro. What a bunch of douchebags.

Schill isn't blowing up the speed gun right now. Lots of splitters and balls in the mid-80's. Uh-oh.
Edgah ends up 3 fo fo...Onto the eighth. Six outs to go.
The brunette in the white is back. I like right handed hitters in this game.
Two outs, two on, and Edgah - who hasn't been retired yet tonight - comes to the plate.

Can he make it fo-fo-fo? Or stay at 3-fo-3?
Bill Mueller walks, which brings up 2B Tony Graffanino with one out.

Previously, in the Mark Bellhorn era, you could just put it on the booooooooooard...K! But T-Graff is able to line a basehit into right. Good trade, Theo.
Damaso the Yankees wish they'd held onto him.

The Red Sox - as opposed to the other tea, which Hawk and DJ refer to as "our Sox" - have pounded out 10 hits tonight. That's pretty good.
Mike Timlin gets out of the jam by popping up Providence's Paul Konerko. Onto the eighth. Six more outs.

And in typical fashion, CSN Chicago shows the same six or seven commercials all night, just like NESN. But they don't have Marty (and he makes better deals) from U.S. RV. But I have seen the Geico commercial with Tony Little a bunch. That dude is dumb scary.
So, in typical fashion, the guy who screwed up last inning hits a double.

Carl Everett up now. Which reminds me the low, low, low regard of which I hold him as a human being.
The Hawk's baseball chatter "get it goin' here, 5" is stupid. Timlin gets to Timo to catch the high strike. Eight more outs. (no, not Eight MEN Out...)
Is it too early to mention that Matt Clement is in line for the win; Mark Buehrle the loss?
Millar flies out to Timo Perez, who then guns down Papi, who is trying to tag up. Not good.

But what was good was Edgar Renteria plating the go-ahead run before Papi's 9-5 putout.

Good on Kevin for the sac fly 9.

It's Timlin time - hold this lead and give it to Schill.
For his career, Jason Varitek is only .222 with the bases loaded. Wow. That's pretty, um, awful.

And his average did not improve.

So now it's bases loaded. One out. Kevin Millar. Those three numbers keep haunting me...6...4...3...

Good time to use the commode. I've seen this episode of Law & Order, it's a rerun.
Well, I have to say...I'm happy about this game so far. Mark Buehrle is one of the top 2 or 3 pitchers in the A.L. and the ChiSox have the best record in the A.L. To chase him from the game in the 7th inning with a 4-all score is encouraging.

Especially since the Sox suck at - whoa, there's that brunette in the white again...OK, back to my original point - facing lefties.
And Papi delivers, with a little help from the Japanese second baseman. What is it with Japanese 2B who can't field the ball? Kaz Matsui sucks, and so does this guy. 4-4. 2nd and 3rd. No out. And they're walking Manuel Aristedes Ramirez.

Wow, don't pitch to Manny? Boy, someone stop the voting and give Ozzie Guillen the manager of the year trophy now.
Edgah still 3-for-3, walk...Papi up. If ever there was a time to take over the RBI lead over the #4 hitter, now would be a wicked cool time.
Damon aboard as the leadoff guy...3-for-3 Edgah up...Hawk complaining about not getting the inside pitch...Why do I have the numbers 6-4-3 in my head?
108 pitches through six innings...not stellar for Clement. But only four runs. This can be done.
And Clement walks the batter. This inning should be friggin' over.

This sucks. Whoa, who is the brunette in the white top behind the White Sox dugout?

That's what you get when you can throw/hit a curveball, I guess.
Edgah's only miss tonight? Aaron Rowand on the botched run-down. 2-2 pitchout to second had Rowand beat, except Edgah tried to chase him down.

He missed. And that sucked. Hopefully it won't cost the Sox and Clement.
Six words that do not roll off the tongue with any relative ease: Nice diving stab by Kevin Millar. -----
Hawk Harrelson still cheering. Hey pal, I don't care that the White Sox sign your check, how about a little professionalism? The press box isn't for cheering. Buy pom-poms if you want to root, root, root for the home team.
***Real world sports update***
TLBR's Honduran correspondent informs me that the U.S. National Soccer team earned a spot in the CONCACAF Gold Cup final after a thrilling, 2-1 victory over Honduras tonight.

John O'Brien and Oguchi Onyewu each scored for the U.S.,

Oh, wait. The game was in New Jersey. So...let's recap...a guy in Honduras is telling me about a game off of exit 16W on the NJ Turnpike?

Yeah, I'm a little tunnel-visioned. But, nonetheless, still pleased with the outcome and that my man had it back home without bodily harm. They take that soccer thing pretty hard down yonder.
I can't stand the White Sox guys, but listening to Joe and Jerry 15 seconds after I watch what they did isn't doing it for me, either. Back to CSN Chicago.
Two squanders and it's up to Millar...who puts the K in squander. But it's 4-3.

Was just thinking...the White Sox have Jose Contreras. Jose Contreras has about a 62.00 ERA vs. the Red Sox. It'd be swell if they faced him this weekend...
After pulling a Cartwright on the 2-2, Papi nubs one into left and Edgah comes around.

Continue the not-squandering actions, boys.
Edgah! Three-fo-three!

Still a man on second. Still no outs.

Still do not squander...please.
Johnny leadoff double. Do. Not. Squander.


Do. Not. Squander.
***Real world news alert***

Does this story smack a bit like the point of the movie, Natural Born Killers? The term "criminal celebrity" makes me want to hurl.

Ok, back to baseball.
Come on out to US Cellular Field on Thursday, it's Hanging Slider/Gopher Ball night, sponsored by Matt Clement.

Crap. I wonder if Theo is thinking A.J. Burnett now?
Clement not settling. I jinxed it.

Of course, leading up to the at-bat by Providence native Paul Konerko, SOx radio man Jerry Trupiano happened to mention he was oh-for-his-last-seven.

Make that one-for-his-last-eight.
If anyone hears a question from a "Tilber" in New York on CSN Chicago, do let me know:
Oh boy, a graphic just came up on the screen, telling fans how they can email Hawk Harrelson and "D.J." in the booth. I'm crafting my tome right now.
Nice play in the left field corner by Manny...and gives the ball to a little girl...and people were questioning why there was a Manny-themed post earlier.

Manny is great. Red Sox fans really need to realize that. Plus, I think if he had his druthers, he'd have stood there and talked to the little girl.

Manny: "Chew like SpongeBob, too?"
The Sox are getting their chances and aren't doing great things with them.

But at least Buehrle is throwing pitches....oh crap, Millar, could you take a fucking pitch? You aren't hitting, so take the damn walk.
Attaboy, Edgah! Two fuh two.

And Papi didn't like the first pitch called a strike. He is like the Bill Cartwright of called strikes, always arguing the call.
Matty settling down a bit. Crap, did I just jinx it?
When I was growing up, there was a guy in the neighborhood that was a Sox fan...a White Sox fan...not the most common thing, but what the heck. Better than the Yankee fans. Anyway, when the ChiSox changed their uniforms from the batter guy to the red, white, and blue "C," he bought a new jersey and took it to the local sporting goods store, where they were nice enough to stitch "23 Mattingly" on the back for him.

Good story, huh?
Billy Mueller just said "trade this, Theo." (all praise be to God)
Millar and Nixon just had swings that, if it was not a ball and rather a Snapple bottle, would not broken it.
Buehrle delivers pretty fast...what, does he have a hot date or something?

You know what? If his ex is any indication, I bet he does.
The WEEI broadcast is about 15 seconds slow online. Crap-tastic.
First three pitches to Carl Everett were all snapped and terrible. Just like Carl.

And with that home run, the urging of it to leave the park, the "put it on the board....YES," and the fireworks, the television just went on mute.
The White Sox commentators are referring to the home team as "we." Did you have an at-bat? Did you make a catch? No? Then you are not a "we."
Ah crap, no NESN broadcasters on MLB Extra Innings tonight. I'm not going to be able to take nine innings of Hawk Harrelson.

I've hung out with Mark Buerhle's ex-girlfriend a few times. It really makes me wish I could either: a. throw a curveball --or-- b: hit one.

The organist at US Cellular Comiskey Park is playing the Cheers theme as Johnny Damon steps to the plate. Thanks, pal. Can you fire up Sweet Caroline in the middle of the 8th and Dirty Water if we win?

Quite frankly, Manny Ramirez has been TERR-A-BULL versus lefties this year. I'm just saying...[/stephen a. smith]
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A daily - or every-other-day - account of all there is in my head
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(I vow to attack this endeavor with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind.)

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