Monday, July 11, 2005
  The TLBR Home Run Derby Blog
While I'm not in Detroit, I was yesterday, so that counts. And since Joe Morgan can make any program teeter on the brink of unwatchable, here goes the Home Run Derby Blog:
End of the first round: I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. Might be time to hit the rack.
Andruw Jones: I missed the first few pitches to the representative from the Netherlands...I had to trim my nose hair.

#2 & 3 were pretty good shots. But all that is for naught as Jones doesn't make it out of the first round...
Papi: I wonder if he brought Ino with him...

Nice. Tek. This is a bonus. And he's very well-spoken...methinks he'd make a good color guy when he's done playing. Very insightful, good personality, intelligent.

I hope Papi makes this entertaining. I think it would be better if he had Paul Quantrill pitch to him.

Whoa! Jenny Finch sighting! More Jenny Finch, please!

#4 just went 8 Mile (get it? 8 Mile? Detroit?) And with #7, it seems as though Papi is getting warm.

Manny is waving the Dominican flag with gusto. I wonder if he knows he's from the Dominican.

#12 went real far. #14 went real far. (bold prediction) Papi will win this. And if he doesn't, another bold prediction: he'll have the most fun.
Mark Teixeira: Is the crowd at Comerica going to chant U-S-A???

I wish he was representing Red Sox Nation. But noooooooo, Dan Duquette had to eff that up.

Joe Morgan is trying to make a point about the Hall of Fame - non-U.S. born Hall of Famers. At what point does he interject that he WAS born in the U.S. and he IS in the Hall of Fame?

All the little kids out there shagging the non-home runs is cute...but where is Kelly Baron where you really need her?

Tex ends with two homers. So, when combined with the other American in the field, Jason Bay of Canada, the U.S. has two home runs.
Pudge Rodriguez: "Lost 20 pounds in the offseason." says Berman. Yeah. He did. Which is why he has six home runs this year and looks like Omar Vizquel.

"Johnny Bench was the greatest catcher ever." says Joe Morgan. And how long before he mentions they were teammates and won a few World Series' in the mid 1970's?

Home run #5 carried pretty well. Lots of guys, with the exception of Jason Bay who didn't have a #1, let alone a #5, have hit their fifth jacks pretty good.

That's not factual or particularly notable, but it's still better than the dreck that Boomer and Hall of Fame name dropper Joe "I talked to Kaline today" Morgan.

Pudge making some 'scarole for charity...nice.
Hee Soip Choi: What a treat. A non-home run hitter in the home run derby...Reggie Jackson...Joe Morgan asking stupid questions and being arrogant because he played baseball, (hey, I never knew Joe was in the Hall of Fame, because he's only told me 21,000 times. If Century21 really wants to make a donation to charity, they should cough up the $21k everytime he says something stupid, arrogant, or self-centered) ...Chris Berman asking stupid, suck-up questions...

And, Hee Soip just went yard, finally. And what was the analysis? "I could've hit one tonight." says Reggie. If there is a God in heaven, David Ortiz will club Mr. October to death like a baby seal.

#3 for Hee Soip went far. I don't know much about this guy, but I remember him smacking his head pretty hard in an interleague game vs. the Yankees when Clemens was trying to go for his 300th win at Wrigley.

See that? I can talk about meaningless, completely off the topic at-hand shit when Hee Soip is at bat, too. Dream Job here I come!
Carlos Lee: "How often does a general manager not lie to a team he's making a trade with?" asks Boomer?

Well, rarely...if said GM ever wants to make a deal again. Ask Theo, when it came to the Scott Sauerbeck deal.

Home run #5 was well-struck.

"That ball is not hooking, otherwise it would go foul." said Joe Morgan.

Morgan later added: "The ones that he is missing he is late on."

He should have to give back a prorated amount of his paycheck for tonight for those two comments.

Hee Soip Choi is warming up. Carlos Lee makes the first $21,000 for charity by hitting the Century21 gold ball into the stands. And you can buy your very own gold ball by logging onto, with portions going to charity.
Jason Bay: If I may name drop here, Jason and his very pretty wife sat in front of me on my flight from Pittsburgh to Detroit. That's not really going to help him hit any home runs.

What a letdown it's going to be for the 2004 NL Rookie of the do you match that? It's un-possible.

Out #5 was close. So was #6. Bay, who I found out thanks to this little tidbit from Boomer, hails from the same hometown as NHL'ers Adam Deadmarsh and Ray Ferraro.

"C'mon Jason, get one." says Derrick Lee. "Oh, that was terrible." says Jason Bay.
Abreu: Home run #5 by Philly's Bobby Abreu was a shot - 482 feet. Home run 10 was 517. I bet the people of Venezuela are stoked.

Joe Morgan: "Well, 10 would be an even number." Great analysis. When is he going to suggest someone bunt against the shift?

Less Joe, more Sam Ryan.

What was worse - the homo-erotic toweling off of Bobby Abreu's face by Pudge Rodriguez or the gratuitous Gatorade product placement???

"I just love how the Detroit crowd is going nuts for a Philly player." says Berman. He's not from Philly, Boomer, he's from Venezuela. C'mon, read your script.

All kidding aside, Abreu is killing the ball. Twenty-four homeruns? A broken bat? Unreal.

And he's on my fantasy team. Steve, his trade value just went up a lot. I want Halladay and Giambi.
Intro: What the crap was that intro? Some awful Creed-sounding band with Johnny Damon lip synching? Mike Piazza playing the cowbell? "Don't fear the reaper" might have needed more cowbell. This show needs less cowbell. Where was the newly penitent Kenny Rogers? Why couldn't he play the triangle?

And this international format has me puzzled. Sure, I understand that MLB is going to force this international format down our throats, but why do it to the one thing that MLB does well and the top skill competition of all the professional leagues?

It's a no-brainer that have Big Papi rep the DR and Carlos Lee rep wherever he's from.

But Andruw jones with the netherlands (whatever). Hee Soip Choi? Jason Bay? This reeks of Eddie the Eagle, every nation gets an entrant.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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