Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Almost three years ago today, I sent this e-mail out...
Cleaning out the e-mail inbox and found this gem, dated August 18, 2002. Enjoy TLBR Classic.
It's over. It's all over. No wild card hunt. No AL East title. No late push. No impossible dream. No nothing.
It's Patriots season. You know, the Super Bowl XXVIII champions? The World Champions. Yeah. The underpaid, overachieving team that plays in the new stadium. Not the overpaid, underachieving team that plays in the old stadium.
Am I being one of those "typical" New England fans? You betcha. Put me at the front of the line. The Sox are colder than Ted Williams right now.
Nomar didn't play last night because of a stomach flu. Well, at least that gives us a good reason why he's been so shitty.
Cliff Floyd - I know he's batting almost .400 as a Red Sox, but do we need another strikeout or home run/feast or famine outfielder, who's all banged up and can't play everyday?
Can we please turn a 6-4-3 or a 4-6-3 or a 5-4-3 double play? How about calling off the backpeddling 2B? Or the pitcher covering 1B on a groundball? Do we need Tom Emanski? His are the videotapes that get RESULTS, from Baseball America's back-to-back-to-back AAU Championship teams.
Chris Haney. Just kill yourself. Because everytime you warm up, I consider it.
Maybe Dustin Hermanson will log an inning of play in somewhere other than Pawtucket or Fort Myers. That'd be swell. He shouldn't be allowed to strike. If you don't play, you can't strike. Is that unreasonable?
John Burkett. Does he get into movies half-price and coffee for 35 cents at McDonald's? Did he face Enos Slaughter? How old is this guy?
What is worse - the Dow Jones Industrial average since July or Johnny Damon's OPS? Varitek is streakier than the B.C. quad after they beat Notre Dame in '93. Tony Clark should be an designated fielder and let the pitcher take a few hacks.
Well, we'll certainly know by Aug. 28 - after 3 with the Angels and 2 with the Yanks - whether there's hope. Or if they're even playing. Our luck? The Sox will rattle off 9 in a row, Mariano Rivera and Roger Clemens' arms will fall off, the Sox will tie it up in the AL East, and then walk out like the greedy individuals they all are.
At which point, all focus is transferred to the team that comes out of the tunnel together.
-----
Things change. People change. I believe it was Expose that sang "Season's Change." Rocky Balboa even saw it in that musty Russian arena when he fought Ivan Drago.
Enjoy yer Hump Day night. One.
It's over. It's all over. No wild card hunt. No AL East title. No late push. No impossible dream. No nothing.
It's Patriots season. You know, the Super Bowl XXVIII champions? The World Champions. Yeah. The underpaid, overachieving team that plays in the new stadium. Not the overpaid, underachieving team that plays in the old stadium.
Am I being one of those "typical" New England fans? You betcha. Put me at the front of the line. The Sox are colder than Ted Williams right now.
Nomar didn't play last night because of a stomach flu. Well, at least that gives us a good reason why he's been so shitty.
Cliff Floyd - I know he's batting almost .400 as a Red Sox, but do we need another strikeout or home run/feast or famine outfielder, who's all banged up and can't play everyday?
Can we please turn a 6-4-3 or a 4-6-3 or a 5-4-3 double play? How about calling off the backpeddling 2B? Or the pitcher covering 1B on a groundball? Do we need Tom Emanski? His are the videotapes that get RESULTS, from Baseball America's back-to-back-to-back AAU Championship teams.
Chris Haney. Just kill yourself. Because everytime you warm up, I consider it.
Maybe Dustin Hermanson will log an inning of play in somewhere other than Pawtucket or Fort Myers. That'd be swell. He shouldn't be allowed to strike. If you don't play, you can't strike. Is that unreasonable?
John Burkett. Does he get into movies half-price and coffee for 35 cents at McDonald's? Did he face Enos Slaughter? How old is this guy?
What is worse - the Dow Jones Industrial average since July or Johnny Damon's OPS? Varitek is streakier than the B.C. quad after they beat Notre Dame in '93. Tony Clark should be an designated fielder and let the pitcher take a few hacks.
Well, we'll certainly know by Aug. 28 - after 3 with the Angels and 2 with the Yanks - whether there's hope. Or if they're even playing. Our luck? The Sox will rattle off 9 in a row, Mariano Rivera and Roger Clemens' arms will fall off, the Sox will tie it up in the AL East, and then walk out like the greedy individuals they all are.
At which point, all focus is transferred to the team that comes out of the tunnel together.
-----
Things change. People change. I believe it was Expose that sang "Season's Change." Rocky Balboa even saw it in that musty Russian arena when he fought Ivan Drago.
Enjoy yer Hump Day night. One.
