Wednesday, October 12, 2005
  We're never gonna survive, unless we get a little meshungina
All the happiest and best wishes to those out there atoning for all their sins. Feel free to throw a few of mine in there while you're on a roll.

Ok, onto today's stuff:

RIP, Jack White. No, not the lead singer of the White Stripes, but the Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist from Rhode Island who died suddenly today.

In case some of you out there aren't geography whizzes, or aren't from RI, then you'll be glad to know that the state is quite small (and we're probably not related).

Along with WJAR's Jim Taricani, White made it uncomfortable for anyone who tried to pull anything illegal in the great state of Rhode Island.

And for anyone who pooh-pooh's this as some gumshoe hack from the smallest state in the Union, let it be known that it was White who uncovered the fact that Richard Nixon had not paid his taxes for a while, thus spawning the "I'm not a crook" speech.

He will be missed.
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From today's New York Daily News:
"The Yankees haven't won a World Series since Mayor Bloomberg took office, but he doesn't feel responsible. "The one pitcher I helped them get [Al Leiter] pitched pretty well and won a game, actually," Hizzoner told The Post's Stephanie Gaskell. The mayor takes credit for talking the pitcher into leaving the Florida Marlins to come back to New York. Even though his guy pitched OK, Bloomberg, who hails from just outside of Boston and admits he's not much of a baseball fan, said he's "very disappointed" that the Yankees lost. "

Are you kidding me?
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Back in April, Alex Rodriguez saved a young boy from impending danger.

Just the other day, however, Nomar Garciaparra rescued two people from drowning in Boston Harbor.

And you know what that means...



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Ok, here's a story that just gets me going:

One, if she was qualified to begin with, she wouldn't need prep, P.R. saavy spinmeisters grooming her for her confirmation hearings.

God, that stuff just burns me. Maybe old Joe Kennedy was right, it's not who you are, it's who people think you are.
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Ok, isn't this a little much? Don'tcha think? Here's the full story, explaining why the Smurfs look like they just flew ValuJet.

What next, are we going to get The Wiggles to the center of town and hang them from the gallows? Will UN peacekeepers find Barney and Pals in a massive shallow gravesite?
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Way to shampoo it up, Jude. Nice going, "Buster."

But why do I have the feeling neither one of them will have an empty cold spot in the bed for too long?
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Hey, you stupid shampoo, religion should not be a part of anyone's deciding factor for anything government-related. (for the record, I really wanted to use the F word here for emphasis, but decided against it. So for the effect, go back and insert an effenheimer for "shampoo," and repeat it to yourself quietly)

And since the subject of this whole thing - your Supreme Court nominee - is Constitution Law-retarded, I'll point you to Everson v. Board of Education.

In the majority opinion of Everson - which, Harriet, is the document prepared to explain the legal and Constitutional roots when the body you're being nominated to become a part of makes a decision - it was stated that: "The First Amendment has erected a wall between church and state. That wall must be kept high and impregnable. We could not approve the slightest breach."

So why is someone so grossly underqualified for a job being picked, Mr. Prez? Oh, because she's religious? Ass.
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Holy potatoes. Do they just fall out of there by now? This puts a whole new spin on the phrase, primarily used by Rednecks, "Git'er done."

16? I find that climbing 16 flights of stairs hurts. But 16 kids? Golly.

And, when you think that this particular couple is responsible for spawning 16 more people who will undoubtedly enjoy re-runs of Roseanne on the Superstation, it makes my teeth hurt.

The Arkansas DOT should bolt one of these on their bed.
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As long as they weren't wearing un-broken-in orthotics, I'm sure it was seamless.

And if you get that sub-reference, won't you agree that it was the best episode yet?
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Another sign needed here.

It's not that I'm against the whole notion of the show - OK, I am, but still - it's Geena Davis. Everytime I see her, I think, "Love your body, Larry."
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That's all for today.

Rejoice, for it is but two days till the weekend.

One.
 
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