Hey, I Actually Updated my Blog! A quandry.

Who to cheer for?

A team that I have despised my whole life, or a team that I've just grown to be completely ambivalent about?

The former continually celebrates something notable they did seven years before cable television was invented. The latter, up until a slight speedbump a few weeks back, was the gimp to the New England Patriots' Zed (Pulp Fiction reference).

So who do I root for: the '72 Dolphins or the previously undefeated Indianapolis Colts? Let's discuss my bitterness.

I hate the Dolphins. Always have. I can't stand Dan Marino. I always thought his legacy would be how much he whined, bitched, and moaned instead of his gaudy numbers. He reminds me of the guy who pads his stats despite his team's losing late in games. He reminds me of all the things I hate watching in sports. He is probably the kind of guy who would bitch out the official scorer for depriving him of a meaningless stat number.

I hated the Isotoner glove commercials. I hate him on Inside the NFL on HBO and on CBS. The only time I liked seeing him on television, is when Boomer Esiason basically asked him "what the hell have you ever done?"

I did like him in Ace Ventura, though.

Aside from Marino, I also cringe when I think about old, washed-up jocks who still cling to those glory days. Don Shula - Hall of Fame coach. That quickly turns to Hall of Lame when he joins Bob Griese, Larry Csonka, and Nick Buonoconti when they toast their old news with vintage champagne.

Three words: give. it. up. It's weak. Besides, I believe there was a team that won 22 in a row, including a Super Bowl, a short time ago. And aside from the NFL Films DVD "22," you don't see anyone involved with that streak tapping a keg with the "Woo-hoo, our consecutive games won streak is alive! Pour a beer on me, Tedy!"

It's just lame. And I hate 'em. And they stank!
-- or --
Do I cheer for the Golden Boys?

You know...The pretty boys. The best quarterback in the history of the game. The best QB-wideout combo to ever be born of woman and man. The chosen ones. The best offensive conglomerate in football lore (yep, the same squad that pooped out a measley three points in the AFC Championship game last year, but I digress).

The Colts. Yes, it's impressive that they started off the season 6-0. Equally impressive is that they played a schedule that even an Atlantic-10 football school would consider "light." And yes, the seventh win was against the two-time defending World Champion New England Patriots, or at least, the shadow of a shell of the TTDWCNEP.

Peyton Manning. The best QB in the Universe. Mind you, he's won, um, uh, well, he's never won a big game in his life. And there's a guy in New England who has the money, the power, the bling, and the seriously hot actress girlfriend.

Peyton does stupid, annoying credit card commercials. Tom does them, but insists that his offensive line is with him. And they're funny. Hell, the O-Line steals the show - and it's sooooooo much better than protecting the hands that protect you. God, I hate Dan Marino. (Sorry, inner monologue peeking out again.)
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The Colts lose. 14-1. The old men drink. One more year of glory.

Meanwhile, the team that still has the Vince Lombardi Trophy in their lobby. The same team that has the last two and three of the last four Vince Lombardi Trophies that were awarded, they're not gloating, drinking champagne in their glory or crying in their spilled milk.
They're getting healthy. They're getting better. They're getting back to form. And they're scaring the poopie-cocky-dookie out of the rest of the AFC.

So back to the original question: Colts undefeated or not? Old crusty Dolphin streak snapped or living on? I'll take the Patriots approach.

Since the road to the Super Bowl goes through Indianapolis, I'm for whatever makes Peyton Manning's record vs. Bill Belichick to 1-7.
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Ok, onto other stuff:

Was watching tonight's SportsCenter. Sean Salisbury says "Watch out for the Patriots." Michael Irvin says "Don't bother, they're not deep enough." TLBR says "Check and see if one of Michael's friends left a crack pipe in his car again."

Are you nuts? Not deep enough? The Pats' last three opponents have managed, what, 10 points? Nice defense. Offensive linemen are catching touchdown passes. Seven, eight, even nine different guys are catching lasers from Brady.

Mike...they're deep enough. And they've sort of done this before. Just say no to blow.
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Nomar to the Dodgers. Whew. Good.

I didn't want to loathe him with the Yankees.

And good for Frank McCourt. He couldn't buy the Red Sox, so he's assembling them on the West Coast. Only problem is, he's getting them all one or two years too late. Who's next, Ellis Burks?
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Memo to President Bush: if you decided that listening to me ordering that thing over the phone for my parents for Christmas was in the best interests of National Security, don't call them and tell them.

God, you're the worst. The. worst. President. Ever.

How does that feel? You're the worst. Dead shampooing last. Warren Harding is in the basement no more.

And you can see the difference between the NFL and the Executive Branch of Government. When you're dealing with being the worst in the NFL, you get a chance to get draft Bush. When you're dealing with the Oval Office, all you get is a Bush who dodged the draft.
(ah, thank you)
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Ok, that's about it. Hope everyone's Holiday season is going hunky-dory.
One.  ¶ 7:50 PM