Wednesday, December 21, 2005
  Jesus Walks
(yeah, that headline's original)

Johnny Damon is a Yankee. And that sucks.

I liked Johnny. Bought one of those player t-shirts when he first signed with the Sox. Have a World Series Champion bobblehead. Took a pic with him at Spring Training.

Now, that's over. He joins Derek Jeter as the only Yankee I sort of like, kind of respect and wouldn't mind having play for the Sox. Except, he did. Crap. There goes another 20 bucks wasted on a t-shirt - I'll be putting that one with the Pokey Reese tee and the authentic Phil Seibel jersey (joke. it's a Mark Malaska.)

But it doesn't suck because, "oh gasp, Johnny's a Yankee!" No, it sucks because at present, the Red Sox roster is a mess. Granted they don't have a meaningful game till April, but still, they have four second basemen, and no centerfielder.

The Red Sox have plans. Their plans are to get rid of all the old guys from the other GM's. Exactly on player on their 40-man as of this morning was not either acquired by the new ownership or was there and re-upped: Manuel Aristides Ramirez. And we know that could end any ole' day now.

I don't begrudge Damon. I do not speak from first-hand experience, but 40 million and 52 million are different. And looking at their roster, I don't think the Yankees have gotten better. Who exactly is going to get the ball to Mo Rivera? Farnsworth? Villone. Yeah, ok. Who comes in when Moose or the Unit bomb out in the 3rd? Who is the 4th starter, Aaron Small?

And last I checked, Damon still can't throw the ball from 2nd to home without a bounce, so it's only a slight upgrade from Bernie Williams. (if the Sox sign him for anything more than a 4th/5th outfielder, I might 100% turn to the Brewers, I mean it.)

Are there options out there? Sure. What would it take to get Torii Hunter? Would the Mariners trade Ichiro? (yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my ass) .

And not to be sour grapes, but are Damon's best years ahead of him or behind?

Who knows. But after the initial sting of seeing Johnny shave, put on the Pinstripes with that horrible fellow Borasian A-Rod there, all gelled up and frosted (all you'd need was a Cowboy hat, a Willie Nelson CD and ass-less chaps for the press conference to morph into the Red Carpet at the premiere of Brokeback Mountain), once all that crap is over, it'll be much ado about nothing.

Paging Roger Clemens: there's a gigantic storyline waiting for you on line 21.
 
Comments:
A fan in Pittsburgh remembers these words...

Going back on his word?
"I want to stay here, but I may walk and go home. I might shut it down in a couple of years.
"There's no way I can go play for the Yankees, but I know they are going to come after me hard. It's definitely not the most important thing to go out there for the top dollar, which the Yankees are going to offer me. It's not what I need.

"I'd like to finish my career here [Boston]. I'm not sure they'll let me do it, if they offer me [only] two or three years [on a contract]. I want at least four or five.

-- Johnny Damon, 5/01/05, on MLB.com
 
Have some Primanti Bros. and erase Johnny Damon from your memory. Here's a $1.25 and shampoo yourself.
 
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