Thursday, April 13, 2006
And now, the conclusion (almost) of...the Oz Blog
April 10
8:19 a.m. – Tiger is six-under in the Masters? WTF!?!
11:32 a.m. – Tooling around Hobart has been nice. Ate one of the most delicious spinach and cheese pastie. I could eat about 16 of them.
1:37 p.m. –The Tasmanian Gallery of Art had an exhibit on prisons in Tasmania (Van Diemen’s Land)…very interesting. I’m very glad I was not a prisoner back then. It must have really, really sucked. Big time.
4:11 p.m. – It was a nice day at sea level. It was nice weather driving up Mt. Wellington. At the peak of the mountain – 1,260 meters above sea level – it was raining, sleeting, hailing, cold, and windy. Glad I’m wearing just a t-shirt.
April 11
10:11 a.m. – I am ready to go home, but trust me, a few more weeks here would receive no formal complaints. I’m ready to tackle the next stop, I’m prepared to make a move, and I’m not scared to do it. I am ready to renew, reform, revise, reshape, re-dream, remodel, redesign, and re-succeed. And maybe get a new job.
At the moment, I’m in the Hobart INTERNATIONAL Airport. It’s International because it flies to New Zealand…International the same way the Buffalo Airport flies to Canada. If the departure terminal is smaller than my office, bzzzzzzt, sorry, you don’t get to be an International airport.
With a little luck, perhaps I’ll be in the back of the JetStar plane surrounded by 20 screaming kids and “Jive Talkin” by the fucking Bee Gees on powerdrive. Gee, that’d be swell, Wally.
10:40 a.m. – Bingo! I’ve got Bingo! And by Bingo, I mean a babbling little kid. “A wheel! A wheel!” Hey, do you have a cousin? “A duck!” “A duck!”
10:56 a.m. – There’s a bizarro Sinead O’Connor sitting in the aisle seat next to us.
1:54 p.m. – Ok, this trip is making me soft. Right by the tennis courts you walk between to get the Clifton Hill train station, a young kid came up to me and asked for $2.20 so he can go swimming with his friends. And I gave it to him. And I hope he had a great day with his friends - I really do. It might be the best $2.20 I’ve spent during the whole trip. Unless he went off with his friends to buy crack.
Then I’ll feel crummy, knowing that I’ve contributed to the downfall of a young Australian. But I’ll still hope he had a great day with his friends.
2:19 p.m. – Bizarro Michelle Wie, the golf phenom.
5:44 p.m. – It has been a gorgeous, unbelievable day so far in Melbourne. At the moment, I’m chilling in Melbourne.
No. Seriously. The sun has gone down and I’m literally chilling. It’s fucking cold. Booked a daytrip tomorrow for the vineyards in the Yarra Valley, among other touristy things.
Ok, forget this, I’m going back to Clifton Hill. I think I can cut glass right now.
April 12
8:16 a.m. – Doing a daytrip to some spot for a devonshire tea (tea and biscuits), then to Puffing Billy (an old steam train), then to the William Ricketts Sanctuary (aboriginal art), then to several vineyards (drinking wine).
May have had the best night’s sleep of the trip last night; feeling rather fresh and alert today. Billy the Bus Driver (his real name’s David, but Billy sounds better) is a funny dude.
8:40 a.m. – On the drive out to the Puffing Billy train, passing through the Melbourne suburbs. They’re very nice, look quite livable. It’s like Westchester County, except it doesn’t suck.
9:36 a.m. – I’m generally opposed to tours – at least, organized daytrips through tourist agencies. I prefer to naturally explore, get lost, figure it out, whatever. This one, however, is necessary. Some poppycock, like feeding birds or something, but mostly it’s been good.
10:41 a.m. – On Puffing Billy right now. Cool old train, cruising along at 10 mph. Acela it ain’t. Just got a call that the World Champion Boston Red Sox won Ring Day, 8-1. Nice…
11:59 a.m. – Just finished William Ricketts Sanctuary. VERY interesting. This gentleman had quite a lucrative jewelry business going before he decided to sell it all, move to the mountains, and make sculptures of aborigines as he felt they were slighted in the greatest possible way by the Australian government and people. The work was as fine and as detailed as you could ever imagine.
Ricketts committed himself to his work. The cynic would argue that he should BE committed. The life authentic is lived outside the box. Fascinating.
1:54 p.m. – First vineyard stop: the Rochford winery. A decided success. One of the tastiest meals of the trip, followed by several glasses of vino. Also had lunch with Billy (David) the bus driver. Interesting story. Nice guy. Looks like Hopper from Easy Rider.
4:07 p.m. – This wine tour is one of the many highlights of the trip. The views were amazing, some terrific tracks of land, and certainly the fruit of the vice was a plus. Good food, good wine, good company – was joined on the trip by a couple of professors from WPI. Small friggin’ world.
Bought three bottles of three different types of wine and I plan on enjoying each. Two bizarros on the Chandon tour – Randy Johnson and Tom Brady (our tour guide).
4:16 p.m. – Wine makes me happy. It also makes the Worcester couple happy. If they packed Cialis in the carry-on, then it’s on like Donkey Kong for them tonight.
6:45 p.m. – We went back to the Vietnamese restaurant Binh Minh, with Sara, Trina, and Louise – another friend who plays Gaelic Football with them. They talked Gaelic Football all night, so I worked on a few different plates of veggies and noodles. Yum.
11:59 p.m. – After dinner, we went to a bar to meet up with a guy Louise was interested in named Eli. Two things came to mind before I met Eli: Yale University and Owen Wilson’s character from “The Royal Tenenbaums.”
One thing came to mind after I met Eli: Sideshow Bob. Spitting image.
But at least it was a bar, they had beer, and the Gaelic Football talk was to a minimum.
The wine tour so ruled today. I wish I could take it twice. What a great time.
April 13
10:49 a.m. – I am on the clock. Twenty-four hours to go. And what a trip it has been.
12:33 p.m. – Today might be the most gorgeous day here in Melbourne. I need to go around and walkabout (Australian reference #3?) and get some sun. Sorry Shonda, but in the process of not limiting the fun, I’m maximizing the sun.
I also have half-a-metric tonne (Australian word #4) of change in my pocket, as they use one and two dollar coins. I’m buying diet cokes at 2.50 a pop every 10 minutes to rid myself of the added body weight.
Dinner (Italian) with Sara tonight at 7:00 p.m. God, it seems inconceivable that I’m already having my goodbye dinner. I just had the welcome dinner. It’s not fair, it’s just not fair.
Also wrapping up my final purchases. Got a bunch of souvenirs for people – already sent Mom and Dad’s home – and now I need to souvenir shop for me. Do I pimp out with a pair of R.M. Williams boots or the phat shirt/tie combo? I dunno. God damn I love the sun. Almost home.
12:54 p.m. – Wow, bizarro Dave Magarity.
Everybody in this country runs/jogs. Everyone. Australia is safe. If anyone ever tries to invade them, they’ll just lace ‘em up and run. No one’s ever going to be able to catch this country; they will prevail simply by fleeing.
2:19 p.m. – My tour guide at the Melbourne Cricket Grounds is a bizarro Lou Holtz. Lots of bizarros today, huh?
3:28 p.m. – Damn, two more: bizarro Frances Russell and Emma “Baby Spice” Bunton.
3:50 p.m. – And the circle closes. Back to the Oxford Scholar – my Australian Plimoth Rock. What cheer, Netop?
A famous Percy Sledge song came on the jukebox and I had to laugh. Irony does that to you, eh? The iPod karma follows me around wherever I go. As do the schooners and pints of Carlton.
4:39 p.m. – I’m in a country chock full of attractive beer-drinking women. Which poses two questions: Why didn’t I come here earlier and why am I leaving?
4:43 p.m. – You simply cannot just have one beer at the Oxford Scholar. Next to division-by-zero and cold fusion, it’s impossible.
5:05 p.m. – Went with the shirt/tie combo. The boots weren’t that comfy.
Another bizarro: Dan Shaughnessy
5:45 p.m. – iPod karma strikes again – Shadowboxer by Fiona Apple.
9:52 p.m. – At Flanagan’s Pub, bizarro Chris “Bucky” Brennan, which made me think of some of the funniest nights in the history of the State of Rhode Island with that kid.
10:20 p.m. – T.R.O.Y. by Pete Rock and CL Smooth just came on the jukebox. What a song from 1992. Thank god Australia is a little behind in its rap music.
To that next step, y'all...one.
8:19 a.m. – Tiger is six-under in the Masters? WTF!?!
11:32 a.m. – Tooling around Hobart has been nice. Ate one of the most delicious spinach and cheese pastie. I could eat about 16 of them.
1:37 p.m. –The Tasmanian Gallery of Art had an exhibit on prisons in Tasmania (Van Diemen’s Land)…very interesting. I’m very glad I was not a prisoner back then. It must have really, really sucked. Big time.
4:11 p.m. – It was a nice day at sea level. It was nice weather driving up Mt. Wellington. At the peak of the mountain – 1,260 meters above sea level – it was raining, sleeting, hailing, cold, and windy. Glad I’m wearing just a t-shirt.
April 11
10:11 a.m. – I am ready to go home, but trust me, a few more weeks here would receive no formal complaints. I’m ready to tackle the next stop, I’m prepared to make a move, and I’m not scared to do it. I am ready to renew, reform, revise, reshape, re-dream, remodel, redesign, and re-succeed. And maybe get a new job.
At the moment, I’m in the Hobart INTERNATIONAL Airport. It’s International because it flies to New Zealand…International the same way the Buffalo Airport flies to Canada. If the departure terminal is smaller than my office, bzzzzzzt, sorry, you don’t get to be an International airport.
With a little luck, perhaps I’ll be in the back of the JetStar plane surrounded by 20 screaming kids and “Jive Talkin” by the fucking Bee Gees on powerdrive. Gee, that’d be swell, Wally.
10:40 a.m. – Bingo! I’ve got Bingo! And by Bingo, I mean a babbling little kid. “A wheel! A wheel!” Hey, do you have a cousin? “A duck!” “A duck!”
10:56 a.m. – There’s a bizarro Sinead O’Connor sitting in the aisle seat next to us.
1:54 p.m. – Ok, this trip is making me soft. Right by the tennis courts you walk between to get the Clifton Hill train station, a young kid came up to me and asked for $2.20 so he can go swimming with his friends. And I gave it to him. And I hope he had a great day with his friends - I really do. It might be the best $2.20 I’ve spent during the whole trip. Unless he went off with his friends to buy crack.
Then I’ll feel crummy, knowing that I’ve contributed to the downfall of a young Australian. But I’ll still hope he had a great day with his friends.
2:19 p.m. – Bizarro Michelle Wie, the golf phenom.
5:44 p.m. – It has been a gorgeous, unbelievable day so far in Melbourne. At the moment, I’m chilling in Melbourne.
No. Seriously. The sun has gone down and I’m literally chilling. It’s fucking cold. Booked a daytrip tomorrow for the vineyards in the Yarra Valley, among other touristy things.
Ok, forget this, I’m going back to Clifton Hill. I think I can cut glass right now.
April 12
8:16 a.m. – Doing a daytrip to some spot for a devonshire tea (tea and biscuits), then to Puffing Billy (an old steam train), then to the William Ricketts Sanctuary (aboriginal art), then to several vineyards (drinking wine).
May have had the best night’s sleep of the trip last night; feeling rather fresh and alert today. Billy the Bus Driver (his real name’s David, but Billy sounds better) is a funny dude.
8:40 a.m. – On the drive out to the Puffing Billy train, passing through the Melbourne suburbs. They’re very nice, look quite livable. It’s like Westchester County, except it doesn’t suck.
9:36 a.m. – I’m generally opposed to tours – at least, organized daytrips through tourist agencies. I prefer to naturally explore, get lost, figure it out, whatever. This one, however, is necessary. Some poppycock, like feeding birds or something, but mostly it’s been good.
10:41 a.m. – On Puffing Billy right now. Cool old train, cruising along at 10 mph. Acela it ain’t. Just got a call that the World Champion Boston Red Sox won Ring Day, 8-1. Nice…
11:59 a.m. – Just finished William Ricketts Sanctuary. VERY interesting. This gentleman had quite a lucrative jewelry business going before he decided to sell it all, move to the mountains, and make sculptures of aborigines as he felt they were slighted in the greatest possible way by the Australian government and people. The work was as fine and as detailed as you could ever imagine.
Ricketts committed himself to his work. The cynic would argue that he should BE committed. The life authentic is lived outside the box. Fascinating.
1:54 p.m. – First vineyard stop: the Rochford winery. A decided success. One of the tastiest meals of the trip, followed by several glasses of vino. Also had lunch with Billy (David) the bus driver. Interesting story. Nice guy. Looks like Hopper from Easy Rider.
4:07 p.m. – This wine tour is one of the many highlights of the trip. The views were amazing, some terrific tracks of land, and certainly the fruit of the vice was a plus. Good food, good wine, good company – was joined on the trip by a couple of professors from WPI. Small friggin’ world.
Bought three bottles of three different types of wine and I plan on enjoying each. Two bizarros on the Chandon tour – Randy Johnson and Tom Brady (our tour guide).
4:16 p.m. – Wine makes me happy. It also makes the Worcester couple happy. If they packed Cialis in the carry-on, then it’s on like Donkey Kong for them tonight.
6:45 p.m. – We went back to the Vietnamese restaurant Binh Minh, with Sara, Trina, and Louise – another friend who plays Gaelic Football with them. They talked Gaelic Football all night, so I worked on a few different plates of veggies and noodles. Yum.
11:59 p.m. – After dinner, we went to a bar to meet up with a guy Louise was interested in named Eli. Two things came to mind before I met Eli: Yale University and Owen Wilson’s character from “The Royal Tenenbaums.”
One thing came to mind after I met Eli: Sideshow Bob. Spitting image.
But at least it was a bar, they had beer, and the Gaelic Football talk was to a minimum.
The wine tour so ruled today. I wish I could take it twice. What a great time.
April 13
10:49 a.m. – I am on the clock. Twenty-four hours to go. And what a trip it has been.
12:33 p.m. – Today might be the most gorgeous day here in Melbourne. I need to go around and walkabout (Australian reference #3?) and get some sun. Sorry Shonda, but in the process of not limiting the fun, I’m maximizing the sun.
I also have half-a-metric tonne (Australian word #4) of change in my pocket, as they use one and two dollar coins. I’m buying diet cokes at 2.50 a pop every 10 minutes to rid myself of the added body weight.
Dinner (Italian) with Sara tonight at 7:00 p.m. God, it seems inconceivable that I’m already having my goodbye dinner. I just had the welcome dinner. It’s not fair, it’s just not fair.
Also wrapping up my final purchases. Got a bunch of souvenirs for people – already sent Mom and Dad’s home – and now I need to souvenir shop for me. Do I pimp out with a pair of R.M. Williams boots or the phat shirt/tie combo? I dunno. God damn I love the sun. Almost home.
12:54 p.m. – Wow, bizarro Dave Magarity.
Everybody in this country runs/jogs. Everyone. Australia is safe. If anyone ever tries to invade them, they’ll just lace ‘em up and run. No one’s ever going to be able to catch this country; they will prevail simply by fleeing.
2:19 p.m. – My tour guide at the Melbourne Cricket Grounds is a bizarro Lou Holtz. Lots of bizarros today, huh?
3:28 p.m. – Damn, two more: bizarro Frances Russell and Emma “Baby Spice” Bunton.
3:50 p.m. – And the circle closes. Back to the Oxford Scholar – my Australian Plimoth Rock. What cheer, Netop?
A famous Percy Sledge song came on the jukebox and I had to laugh. Irony does that to you, eh? The iPod karma follows me around wherever I go. As do the schooners and pints of Carlton.
4:39 p.m. – I’m in a country chock full of attractive beer-drinking women. Which poses two questions: Why didn’t I come here earlier and why am I leaving?
4:43 p.m. – You simply cannot just have one beer at the Oxford Scholar. Next to division-by-zero and cold fusion, it’s impossible.
5:05 p.m. – Went with the shirt/tie combo. The boots weren’t that comfy.
Another bizarro: Dan Shaughnessy
5:45 p.m. – iPod karma strikes again – Shadowboxer by Fiona Apple.
9:52 p.m. – At Flanagan’s Pub, bizarro Chris “Bucky” Brennan, which made me think of some of the funniest nights in the history of the State of Rhode Island with that kid.
10:20 p.m. – T.R.O.Y. by Pete Rock and CL Smooth just came on the jukebox. What a song from 1992. Thank god Australia is a little behind in its rap music.
To that next step, y'all...one.
