Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Opening Day, Then and Now
It's not officially Opening Day - that happened last week - and five up and one down later for the Sox, they return to open Fenway Park for the 94th season of good, clean, American League baseball.
In keeping with the Oz blog, today's installment (from April 4, 2005) was the season Opening Day from last year - Yankees vs. Red Sox.
So here's to the season, that now unofficially officially begins this afternoon. Enjoy.
April 4
9:24 a.m. – Ten days to go in the trip, but none…NONE…more important than today. It is Opening Day for the World Champion Boston Red Sox baseball club.
Got langoured last night – yeah, I know…shocker… - but absolutely, positively bounced back this morning, got some brekky, and found a comfortable spot at Magnum’s to watch the baseball until 11:30, until Hog’s Breath opens.
Ah, what a place, what a day. Opening fricken day, no better place to be. I am giddy. But I do miss Pokey.
9:46 a.m. – The World Champs…it’s setting in. The Spice Girls could be naked in front of me right now, I couldn’t care less. The World Champs are on ESPN.
9:53 a.m. – The TV is on mute. Kruk and Harold both pick the Yanks to win the World Series. I now hate them. Thankfully the calm sounds of Jack Johnson are on the speakers here at Magnum’s.
10:00 a.m. – The intro…Bucky Dent…Aaron Boone…who cares? Dave Roberts, beeatch.
10:02 a.m. – From here on out, dirty words will be replaced by the word “shampoo.” (author's note: in case any of you loyal readers wonder where the "shampoo" came from, this is where...)
Shampoo Billy Crystal. And cute sign, Yankee fan. 1918…2005…2090. Try winning one this millennium, pal.
10:10 a.m. – Johnny Damon then Edgar Renteria? I could learn to love this team awful quick.
10:17 a.m. – Three up, three down, two K’s by the Unit. Oh well.
10:18 a.m. – Well, that didn’t take Jeter too long…two pitches. Shampoo. Greatest. Leadoff. Single. Ever.
10:23 a.m. – Tough hop for the DP, fielder’s choice, Boomer K’s Ruben Sierra. Combined age of that pitcher-batter matchup? 86 years old.
10:28 a.m. – First beer of the day! Big Papi! To quote Vin Parise, “it’s noon somewhere in the world.”
10:30 a.m. – Millar hits a bomb, shampooing Matsui robs him in left. But Jay Payton manufacturing. Welcome to the Sox, JP
10:37 a.m. – Bellhorn K’s. Wow. Total. Shocker.
10:43 a.m. – Giambi. Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater. Damn, base hit. Well, at least Mike Lupica has an article now.
10:48 a.m. – “Solar interference to the satellite is interfering with the broadcast signal…We apologize for the delay in service and hope to be back shortly.” Oh you have got to be shampooing kidding me. What am I supposed to do, go to the shampooing beach?
10:50 a.m. – “Well, the bar IS open.” – Magnum’s friendly barkeep. Truer words have never been spoken. She’s right, if the Queensland government doesn’t have a problem with serving beer at this hour, I don’t have a problem consuming it.
When the sun is done interfering, and the game comes back with the Yankees up 10-1, I’m going to throw something.
10:57 a.m. – Jeter’s 2-for-2. Now Lupica has a sidebar. Derek Jeter. What. A. Champion. Greatest. Yankee. Ever.
10:58 a.m. – Brian Cashman being interviewed by the lovely Sam Ryan. I’d respect him a whole lot more if he went Namath on her. “Sam, I don’t care about Jaret Wright. I just wanna kiss you.”
11:01 a.m. – The other – and less publicly maligned – cheater, Gary Sheffield, rips an RBI double. Shampoo.
11:06 a.m. – Error, Edgar Renteria. O.C. woulda had it. Pokey woulda had it. Shampoo.
11:09 a.m. – Giambi HBP by Wells and Dave Wallace trots out to the mound. Tell him you’ll get him cheez fries and a bunch of dogs at Gray’s Papaya if he gets out of the inning unscathed.
11:11 a.m. – Bernie Williams has had 195 AB with the bases loaded in his career. Kinda puts his career in perspective. He’s pretty good. I’d like him if he wasn’t a MFY.
11:20 a.m. – Nobody deserves the “C” on his jersey more than ‘Tek.
11:23 a.m. – Oh good, there’s a foam party at Magnum’s tonight. Foam, sand, I’m fine with either one. I just have to check with Marisa first.
11:35 a.m. – Groundball to Jeter, he throws it to first. Score that 6-3 in your scorebook. It. Was. The. Greatest. Assist on a Groundout. Ever.
11:46 a.m. – Change of locale, back to the Hog’s Breath Saloon. Shorty the barkeep in full effect again. Sam Ryan is interviewing Theo.
11:50 a.m. – Boomer leaving as the pitcher of record on the L. Can’t help but think I’ve been on the Boomer Wells diet all week.
11:52 a.m. – Oh look, another cute sign from fans of a team in a city that hasn’t won a professional sports title since the NY Liberty. Bite me. All of you.
Just looked in the mirror behind the bar – and I’m not sure if I planned it or not – but my hat is tilted to the left, like Calvin “Pokey” Reese. I miss Pokey.
11:57 a.m. – Drunken Tourette’s Syndrome kicking in…just swearing indiscriminately…shampoo…shampoo shampoo shampoo…
12:06 p.m. – Who the shampoo is Blaine Neal?
12:09 p.m. – A-Rod RBI single. Jeter scores…The. Greatest. Run. In. Yankee. History. Shampoo Blaine Neal.
12:11 p.m. – A-Rod tags up and scored. Blaine, me boy, we hardly knew ye. Enjoy Pawtucket.
12:18 p.m. – 6-1 bad guys. 161 to play. Another Carlton Draught please, Shorty.
12:22 p.m. – What’s this with Fat Joe? Damn, we don’t have anything to counter. Except Ed O.G. & The Bulldogs. “I Got to Have it” is one of the best rap singles of all-time.
12:24 p.m. – Someone put “Trouble” by Coldplay on the jukebox; Shorty the barkeep is here serving me cold ones; there’s not a cloud in the sky. Life don’t suck right now.
12:26 p.m. – Shampoo Tino Martinez. He’s old news.
12:29 p.m. – Bellhorn K’s. Total surprise.
12:35 p.m. – I’m talking to the television. Shorty seems puzzled. I had to explain to her why.
12:37 p.m. – Was thinking that I owe Dave Roberts a beer if I ever meet him.
12:54 p.m. – Nice replay of A-Rod cheating, with his bitch slap on Arroyo. Lots of cheaters on this team. Joe Morgan is defending A-Rod on that play??? Shampoo you, Joe.
12:59 p.m. – Shorty loves me. Game’s over. Time to go home and sleep this off.
6:19 p.m. – Awake. Sober. Barely. Need some food. The place next door had great asian noodles with veggies, I could probably eat two bowls.
9:20 p.m. – One of the friends of my bunkmate Josie – his name is Jans and he’s from Sweden – just told us the most amazing story about getting hit by a train when he was 14. He was dead…then revived…then dead again, times three. In the hospital for six months. Thought he’d be crippled. He went snorkeling today. And he’s playing songs by ear on the guitar.
10:17 p.m. – Heading out. Feel like I’ve been drinking for 12 hours. Oh wait, I have been.
To the next step, and the next 96-mph heater from the soon-to-be 2006 AL Cy Young Awardwinner, Josh Beckett. Good luck trying to hit it.
One.
In keeping with the Oz blog, today's installment (from April 4, 2005) was the season Opening Day from last year - Yankees vs. Red Sox.
So here's to the season, that now unofficially officially begins this afternoon. Enjoy.
April 4
9:24 a.m. – Ten days to go in the trip, but none…NONE…more important than today. It is Opening Day for the World Champion Boston Red Sox baseball club.
Got langoured last night – yeah, I know…shocker… - but absolutely, positively bounced back this morning, got some brekky, and found a comfortable spot at Magnum’s to watch the baseball until 11:30, until Hog’s Breath opens.
Ah, what a place, what a day. Opening fricken day, no better place to be. I am giddy. But I do miss Pokey.
9:46 a.m. – The World Champs…it’s setting in. The Spice Girls could be naked in front of me right now, I couldn’t care less. The World Champs are on ESPN.
9:53 a.m. – The TV is on mute. Kruk and Harold both pick the Yanks to win the World Series. I now hate them. Thankfully the calm sounds of Jack Johnson are on the speakers here at Magnum’s.
10:00 a.m. – The intro…Bucky Dent…Aaron Boone…who cares? Dave Roberts, beeatch.
10:02 a.m. – From here on out, dirty words will be replaced by the word “shampoo.” (author's note: in case any of you loyal readers wonder where the "shampoo" came from, this is where...)
Shampoo Billy Crystal. And cute sign, Yankee fan. 1918…2005…2090. Try winning one this millennium, pal.
10:10 a.m. – Johnny Damon then Edgar Renteria? I could learn to love this team awful quick.
10:17 a.m. – Three up, three down, two K’s by the Unit. Oh well.
10:18 a.m. – Well, that didn’t take Jeter too long…two pitches. Shampoo. Greatest. Leadoff. Single. Ever.
10:23 a.m. – Tough hop for the DP, fielder’s choice, Boomer K’s Ruben Sierra. Combined age of that pitcher-batter matchup? 86 years old.
10:28 a.m. – First beer of the day! Big Papi! To quote Vin Parise, “it’s noon somewhere in the world.”
10:30 a.m. – Millar hits a bomb, shampooing Matsui robs him in left. But Jay Payton manufacturing. Welcome to the Sox, JP
10:37 a.m. – Bellhorn K’s. Wow. Total. Shocker.
10:43 a.m. – Giambi. Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater. Damn, base hit. Well, at least Mike Lupica has an article now.
10:48 a.m. – “Solar interference to the satellite is interfering with the broadcast signal…We apologize for the delay in service and hope to be back shortly.” Oh you have got to be shampooing kidding me. What am I supposed to do, go to the shampooing beach?
10:50 a.m. – “Well, the bar IS open.” – Magnum’s friendly barkeep. Truer words have never been spoken. She’s right, if the Queensland government doesn’t have a problem with serving beer at this hour, I don’t have a problem consuming it.
When the sun is done interfering, and the game comes back with the Yankees up 10-1, I’m going to throw something.
10:57 a.m. – Jeter’s 2-for-2. Now Lupica has a sidebar. Derek Jeter. What. A. Champion. Greatest. Yankee. Ever.
10:58 a.m. – Brian Cashman being interviewed by the lovely Sam Ryan. I’d respect him a whole lot more if he went Namath on her. “Sam, I don’t care about Jaret Wright. I just wanna kiss you.”
11:01 a.m. – The other – and less publicly maligned – cheater, Gary Sheffield, rips an RBI double. Shampoo.
11:06 a.m. – Error, Edgar Renteria. O.C. woulda had it. Pokey woulda had it. Shampoo.
11:09 a.m. – Giambi HBP by Wells and Dave Wallace trots out to the mound. Tell him you’ll get him cheez fries and a bunch of dogs at Gray’s Papaya if he gets out of the inning unscathed.
11:11 a.m. – Bernie Williams has had 195 AB with the bases loaded in his career. Kinda puts his career in perspective. He’s pretty good. I’d like him if he wasn’t a MFY.
11:20 a.m. – Nobody deserves the “C” on his jersey more than ‘Tek.
11:23 a.m. – Oh good, there’s a foam party at Magnum’s tonight. Foam, sand, I’m fine with either one. I just have to check with Marisa first.
11:35 a.m. – Groundball to Jeter, he throws it to first. Score that 6-3 in your scorebook. It. Was. The. Greatest. Assist on a Groundout. Ever.
11:46 a.m. – Change of locale, back to the Hog’s Breath Saloon. Shorty the barkeep in full effect again. Sam Ryan is interviewing Theo.
11:50 a.m. – Boomer leaving as the pitcher of record on the L. Can’t help but think I’ve been on the Boomer Wells diet all week.
11:52 a.m. – Oh look, another cute sign from fans of a team in a city that hasn’t won a professional sports title since the NY Liberty. Bite me. All of you.
Just looked in the mirror behind the bar – and I’m not sure if I planned it or not – but my hat is tilted to the left, like Calvin “Pokey” Reese. I miss Pokey.
11:57 a.m. – Drunken Tourette’s Syndrome kicking in…just swearing indiscriminately…shampoo…shampoo shampoo shampoo…
12:06 p.m. – Who the shampoo is Blaine Neal?
12:09 p.m. – A-Rod RBI single. Jeter scores…The. Greatest. Run. In. Yankee. History. Shampoo Blaine Neal.
12:11 p.m. – A-Rod tags up and scored. Blaine, me boy, we hardly knew ye. Enjoy Pawtucket.
12:18 p.m. – 6-1 bad guys. 161 to play. Another Carlton Draught please, Shorty.
12:22 p.m. – What’s this with Fat Joe? Damn, we don’t have anything to counter. Except Ed O.G. & The Bulldogs. “I Got to Have it” is one of the best rap singles of all-time.
12:24 p.m. – Someone put “Trouble” by Coldplay on the jukebox; Shorty the barkeep is here serving me cold ones; there’s not a cloud in the sky. Life don’t suck right now.
12:26 p.m. – Shampoo Tino Martinez. He’s old news.
12:29 p.m. – Bellhorn K’s. Total surprise.
12:35 p.m. – I’m talking to the television. Shorty seems puzzled. I had to explain to her why.
12:37 p.m. – Was thinking that I owe Dave Roberts a beer if I ever meet him.
12:54 p.m. – Nice replay of A-Rod cheating, with his bitch slap on Arroyo. Lots of cheaters on this team. Joe Morgan is defending A-Rod on that play??? Shampoo you, Joe.
12:59 p.m. – Shorty loves me. Game’s over. Time to go home and sleep this off.
6:19 p.m. – Awake. Sober. Barely. Need some food. The place next door had great asian noodles with veggies, I could probably eat two bowls.
9:20 p.m. – One of the friends of my bunkmate Josie – his name is Jans and he’s from Sweden – just told us the most amazing story about getting hit by a train when he was 14. He was dead…then revived…then dead again, times three. In the hospital for six months. Thought he’d be crippled. He went snorkeling today. And he’s playing songs by ear on the guitar.
10:17 p.m. – Heading out. Feel like I’ve been drinking for 12 hours. Oh wait, I have been.
To the next step, and the next 96-mph heater from the soon-to-be 2006 AL Cy Young Awardwinner, Josh Beckett. Good luck trying to hit it.
One.
