Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Beware of Entangling Alliances
Saw this t-shirt on one of those sites that always sends out spam and whatnot.
There's only one thing to say about that.
And you know who's spouting this disgusting, inaccurate, and completely nonfactual representations, right?
Delaware.
So my fellow citizens of the Biggest Little State in the Union - or as the shaggy-haired prophet J-Malls likes to call it, "The Smallest State with the Biggest Heart" - I say we climb into our cars and vans...we pile into our trucks and SUVS...we mobilize and unify and drive down 95 S, through Connecticut, New York, over the George Washington Bridge, down the New Jersey Turnpike, over the Delaware Memorial Bridges (and don't pay the tolls, beeatch)
I say we march into Wilmington with the force of 500,000 proud and strong Rhode Islanders and burn all the credit card bills that seem to originate from this city and this city alone!
I say we take over Newark and give it to the fine folks of Maryland, as a token of appreciation for crab cakes and, um, the numerous other things that Maryland does!
I say we storm Rehoboth Beach and then, I dunno, have a sandwich and get a tan...but like conquering heroes and not Beltway tourists!
That'll show those Delawarians. You can't shampoo with Little Rhody. Ocean State WHAT?!?
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One.
Saw this t-shirt on one of those sites that always sends out spam and whatnot.There's only one thing to say about that.
And you know who's spouting this disgusting, inaccurate, and completely nonfactual representations, right?
Delaware.
So my fellow citizens of the Biggest Little State in the Union - or as the shaggy-haired prophet J-Malls likes to call it, "The Smallest State with the Biggest Heart" - I say we climb into our cars and vans...we pile into our trucks and SUVS...we mobilize and unify and drive down 95 S, through Connecticut, New York, over the George Washington Bridge, down the New Jersey Turnpike, over the Delaware Memorial Bridges (and don't pay the tolls, beeatch)
I say we march into Wilmington with the force of 500,000 proud and strong Rhode Islanders and burn all the credit card bills that seem to originate from this city and this city alone!
I say we take over Newark and give it to the fine folks of Maryland, as a token of appreciation for crab cakes and, um, the numerous other things that Maryland does!
I say we storm Rehoboth Beach and then, I dunno, have a sandwich and get a tan...but like conquering heroes and not Beltway tourists!
That'll show those Delawarians. You can't shampoo with Little Rhody. Ocean State WHAT?!?
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One.
