Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Cheers and Boos...
That was a legendary page two section of The Mirror - the official newspaper of Fairfield University.
All you did, back then, was compose your "Cheers" list, for stuff you liked, and "Boos" list, for stuff you didn't. I'm sure these days, with the kids and their rock n' roll music and their internet, they just e-mail it. But it was good stuff.
That, plus the following link from another blog, as to which former Red Sox deserve the Fenway fans' applause or ire got me thinking: I haven't made a list in a while.
So here goes...the Official TLBR Former New England-based Pro Athlete Cheer/Boo List:
We'll start with a mock conversation between me and myself, regarding Johnny Damon. Do you cheer for Johnny at Fenway? No. Why? Because he's a Yankee, he's in the Division, and he sets the table for the team we most need to beat. Didn't he play hurt and make big hits and grow his hair long and have women from Stowe to Stonington swoon? Yes. Doesn't that matter to you at all? No. What about Millar, he's in the Division, too...and Hillenbrand... Are the Orioles in the Division? Do they even play baseball in Baltimore? Are they mathematically eliminated yet? And I'll get to Hillenbrand later.
Orlando Cabrera: Yeah, sure, why not. But if it's the ALDS, game five, top 9, game tied, and he's up with the bases loaded and one out, he's an asshole. If he leads off the fifth, with the Sox up 7-1, ah what the heck. O'C baby!
Kevin Millar: His batting average is just slightly over the legit limit to operate a motor vehicle under the influence. And he single-handedly had six LOB the other night against the Sox, allowing them to cruise to a 10-3 victory. So whenever possible, I root for Kevin Millar. Especially if he can hit cleanup.
Dave Roberts: I'd like to buy the man a beer and just say thanks. You cheer for Dave Roberts. In fact, when the Padres play the Brewers out here, I'm going to try to purchase that beer for the man. Also in the NL, so it doesn't affect the Sox.
Derek Lowe: Yes, you cheer for him. He gave a lot to the Sox. And while I don't de-cry Johnny Damon, or Pedro for leaving...remember, they were not really welcomed back...D-Lowe was basically non-tendered at the end of the 2004 season. He only came into the ALDS because the Sox had run out of pitchers b/c Tito had stupidly pulled Arroyo too early. D-Lowe had his issues, thankfully none with my girlfriend or wife, so what the hell. Cheer him. And he's NL.
Pedro: Oh, you mean the guy who took us from Kevin Kennedy to George Bush in the Rose Garden during his career? Yeah, I think you shampooing take your hat off and cheer him. This one I feel strongly about. NL as well.
Bronson Arroyo: As long as he promised to not make any more CD's, yeah, why wouldn't you cheer him? Also under the "he's in the NL" category.
Doug Mientkiewicz: So he "stole" the final out ball. Whatever. Cheer him.
Keith Foulke: Oh, you say he's still with the club? Oh, right, sure, I knew that.
Bill Mueller: Yes. You stand up and you cheer. The man hit two grand slams in the same game, from both sides of the plate.
Nomar: Yes, you cheer him. He gave the Sox his best years, no matter if he also gave them his worst.
Shea Hillenbrand: No.
Carl Everett: Who is this Carl Everett? He is not in the Bible, hence, I do not recognize him. Although booing him is as old as Joan Rivers' act. He's in a category worse than "boo" - he's on the pay-no-mind list.
Edgar Renteria: Considering I didn't really cheer for him when he was one of the hometown nine, I'm going to stay consistent. He's not worthy of boos, but if he were a bunch of beers, I certainly wouldn't break the seal.
Ok, it gets easier for former Patriots. Everyone except Terri Glenn, Lawyer Milloy and Adam Vinatieri gets cheered.
(other self-conversation) Why does Adam get booed? He plays for the Colts. But he won two Super Bowls for the Patriots. I'd argue that it was Tom Brady, but I will reiterate - Adam plays for the Colts. But... He plays for the Colts. The Patriots have to go through the Colts to get to the Super Bowl. The Colts had a shitty kicker the last few years, missing key field goals in key games. They now have a clutch kicker. You now have to boo that kicker, or else you're cheering against the Patriots.
Lawyer gets booed because he's a Bill. Terri because he's a douche.
But what about Ty Law? Well, let's wait to see who the Pats issue #24 to in training camp...
You root for every former Bruin, because their lives are infinitely better now as former Bruins.
And former Celtics make up roughly 60% of the league, so whatever. I kinda miss Ricky Davis.
Ok, that's it from here. Hope the rain holds up enough to get the game in.
To the next step and to Beckett mowing them down. Oh, and I was going to comment on Mike Vaccaro's stupid shampooing column this morning, but I'll hold off.
One (two... three... innings for #19).
All you did, back then, was compose your "Cheers" list, for stuff you liked, and "Boos" list, for stuff you didn't. I'm sure these days, with the kids and their rock n' roll music and their internet, they just e-mail it. But it was good stuff.
That, plus the following link from another blog, as to which former Red Sox deserve the Fenway fans' applause or ire got me thinking: I haven't made a list in a while.
So here goes...the Official TLBR Former New England-based Pro Athlete Cheer/Boo List:
We'll start with a mock conversation between me and myself, regarding Johnny Damon. Do you cheer for Johnny at Fenway? No. Why? Because he's a Yankee, he's in the Division, and he sets the table for the team we most need to beat. Didn't he play hurt and make big hits and grow his hair long and have women from Stowe to Stonington swoon? Yes. Doesn't that matter to you at all? No. What about Millar, he's in the Division, too...and Hillenbrand... Are the Orioles in the Division? Do they even play baseball in Baltimore? Are they mathematically eliminated yet? And I'll get to Hillenbrand later.
Orlando Cabrera: Yeah, sure, why not. But if it's the ALDS, game five, top 9, game tied, and he's up with the bases loaded and one out, he's an asshole. If he leads off the fifth, with the Sox up 7-1, ah what the heck. O'C baby!
Kevin Millar: His batting average is just slightly over the legit limit to operate a motor vehicle under the influence. And he single-handedly had six LOB the other night against the Sox, allowing them to cruise to a 10-3 victory. So whenever possible, I root for Kevin Millar. Especially if he can hit cleanup.
Dave Roberts: I'd like to buy the man a beer and just say thanks. You cheer for Dave Roberts. In fact, when the Padres play the Brewers out here, I'm going to try to purchase that beer for the man. Also in the NL, so it doesn't affect the Sox.
Derek Lowe: Yes, you cheer for him. He gave a lot to the Sox. And while I don't de-cry Johnny Damon, or Pedro for leaving...remember, they were not really welcomed back...D-Lowe was basically non-tendered at the end of the 2004 season. He only came into the ALDS because the Sox had run out of pitchers b/c Tito had stupidly pulled Arroyo too early. D-Lowe had his issues, thankfully none with my girlfriend or wife, so what the hell. Cheer him. And he's NL.
Pedro: Oh, you mean the guy who took us from Kevin Kennedy to George Bush in the Rose Garden during his career? Yeah, I think you shampooing take your hat off and cheer him. This one I feel strongly about. NL as well.
Bronson Arroyo: As long as he promised to not make any more CD's, yeah, why wouldn't you cheer him? Also under the "he's in the NL" category.
Doug Mientkiewicz: So he "stole" the final out ball. Whatever. Cheer him.
Keith Foulke: Oh, you say he's still with the club? Oh, right, sure, I knew that.
Bill Mueller: Yes. You stand up and you cheer. The man hit two grand slams in the same game, from both sides of the plate.
Nomar: Yes, you cheer him. He gave the Sox his best years, no matter if he also gave them his worst.
Shea Hillenbrand: No.
Carl Everett: Who is this Carl Everett? He is not in the Bible, hence, I do not recognize him. Although booing him is as old as Joan Rivers' act. He's in a category worse than "boo" - he's on the pay-no-mind list.
Edgar Renteria: Considering I didn't really cheer for him when he was one of the hometown nine, I'm going to stay consistent. He's not worthy of boos, but if he were a bunch of beers, I certainly wouldn't break the seal.
Ok, it gets easier for former Patriots. Everyone except Terri Glenn, Lawyer Milloy and Adam Vinatieri gets cheered.
(other self-conversation) Why does Adam get booed? He plays for the Colts. But he won two Super Bowls for the Patriots. I'd argue that it was Tom Brady, but I will reiterate - Adam plays for the Colts. But... He plays for the Colts. The Patriots have to go through the Colts to get to the Super Bowl. The Colts had a shitty kicker the last few years, missing key field goals in key games. They now have a clutch kicker. You now have to boo that kicker, or else you're cheering against the Patriots.
Lawyer gets booed because he's a Bill. Terri because he's a douche.
But what about Ty Law? Well, let's wait to see who the Pats issue #24 to in training camp...
You root for every former Bruin, because their lives are infinitely better now as former Bruins.
And former Celtics make up roughly 60% of the league, so whatever. I kinda miss Ricky Davis.
Ok, that's it from here. Hope the rain holds up enough to get the game in.
To the next step and to Beckett mowing them down. Oh, and I was going to comment on Mike Vaccaro's stupid shampooing column this morning, but I'll hold off.
One (two... three... innings for #19).
