Thursday, May 11, 2006
A Year and a Day
It's back.
My back. Back pain.
It was diagnosed two years ago as "acquired L4/L5 lumbar stenosis." In English, it's "dull lower back pain that really sucks when you sit all day long."
In its extreme, the narrowing of the spinal column could cause numbness, even paralysis and loss of extremities. It's not that extreme. In its middle frame, it's what Vladimir Guerrero and I suffer from.
There's an easy cure - "work on my core."
There's a phrase that corresponds with working on my core: "good idea on paper."
I love stuff that I can control, but choose not to because I'm lazy. But that will soon be a thing of the past.
In a day or two, maybe today if the US Postal Service decides not to suck, I'll get my new New Balance 991's in, and I will commence with the exercise and jogging programme that I put together for myself.
And then maybe I'll be less concave on the lower front, so that I'll have less pain on the lower back.
Of course, it's all a theory.
-----
Great, the government is making a database of every phonecall placed in the United States of America.
The President wants us to know that he's not "trolling through our personal lives." Good. Heaven forbid we look through his. Might look a lot like "Less than Zero" or the end of "Scarface."
Well, the closest they'll get to cellphone controversy from me is a string of drunk dials during the summer of 2003. Enjoy those, boys. They're actually quite entertaining, if you have an analyst on the staff who is proficient in deciphering "incoherent."
Sometimes I get the feeling the Government is looking for terrorists like Osama bin Laden with the same vim and vigor that OJ is searching for the real killers of his ex-wife.
-----
Well, I'm all about "thinking outside the box," but there is a line.
And when that line - which separates creativity from a class B misdemeanor - is blurred, then it's probably bad.
Might be time for this guy to give up the Metrocard and just go hang around bars late at night. Maybe try Craigslist or something.
But the subway toe-sucking? Not so much.
-----
Rick Sutcliffe was bombed last night. Probably not news, unless you hear him ambush the Padres radio broadcast.
I personally think the re-telling of the Padres clubhouse stories, involving Mark Bellhorn and Brian Giles, are infinitely funnier - especially if you try to imagine it. (Don't spend too long on the reenactment of the Giles bit though, or else I'll think you're weird.)
---
That's it for today.
To the next step.
One.
My back. Back pain.
It was diagnosed two years ago as "acquired L4/L5 lumbar stenosis." In English, it's "dull lower back pain that really sucks when you sit all day long."
In its extreme, the narrowing of the spinal column could cause numbness, even paralysis and loss of extremities. It's not that extreme. In its middle frame, it's what Vladimir Guerrero and I suffer from.
There's an easy cure - "work on my core."
There's a phrase that corresponds with working on my core: "good idea on paper."
I love stuff that I can control, but choose not to because I'm lazy. But that will soon be a thing of the past.
In a day or two, maybe today if the US Postal Service decides not to suck, I'll get my new New Balance 991's in, and I will commence with the exercise and jogging programme that I put together for myself.
And then maybe I'll be less concave on the lower front, so that I'll have less pain on the lower back.
Of course, it's all a theory.
-----
Great, the government is making a database of every phonecall placed in the United States of America.
The President wants us to know that he's not "trolling through our personal lives." Good. Heaven forbid we look through his. Might look a lot like "Less than Zero" or the end of "Scarface."
Well, the closest they'll get to cellphone controversy from me is a string of drunk dials during the summer of 2003. Enjoy those, boys. They're actually quite entertaining, if you have an analyst on the staff who is proficient in deciphering "incoherent."
Sometimes I get the feeling the Government is looking for terrorists like Osama bin Laden with the same vim and vigor that OJ is searching for the real killers of his ex-wife.
-----
Well, I'm all about "thinking outside the box," but there is a line.
And when that line - which separates creativity from a class B misdemeanor - is blurred, then it's probably bad.
Might be time for this guy to give up the Metrocard and just go hang around bars late at night. Maybe try Craigslist or something.
But the subway toe-sucking? Not so much.
-----
Rick Sutcliffe was bombed last night. Probably not news, unless you hear him ambush the Padres radio broadcast.
I personally think the re-telling of the Padres clubhouse stories, involving Mark Bellhorn and Brian Giles, are infinitely funnier - especially if you try to imagine it. (Don't spend too long on the reenactment of the Giles bit though, or else I'll think you're weird.)
---
That's it for today.
To the next step.
One.
Comments:
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Maybe if you played some basketball in the morning with your new shoes you wouldn't be in such pain. Raaaaaannnnnccccccccch...
# posted by 
: 5:43 PM
: 5:43 PM
Two words: Lunchtime hoops.
Sure, lunchtime is a compound word, so the argument could be made for it being three words, but that argument would lose because I rule.
Sure, lunchtime is a compound word, so the argument could be made for it being three words, but that argument would lose because I rule.
Perhaps if you punch yourself in the face, the pain will subside....Or perhaps a few self-punches in the L4/L5 Region.....
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# posted by : 8:17 PM
: 8:17 PMSubscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
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