Thursday, June 29, 2006
  A-Ripoff
For all the things A-Rod is on the baseball diamond, being genuine and original are not among them.

Yesterday, in a rare moment of clutch production for the Yankee 3B, A-Rod took a 3-1 pitch from the Braves' Jorge Sosa and deposited it towards the wretched scum & villainry in the Yankee bleachers.

Whew. No boo-birds for fragile Alex. No perplexed blue-lipped trudge back to the dugout, fiddling with his arm armor.

A-Rod was a hero! Yay A-Rod! Huzzah! Huzzah! La Shana Tova!

But he STILL can't pull it off? It's still phony.

Why? Because it's been done before. Several times recently. In fact, often.

Because, as hard as he tries, he is NOT the guy who has made it his calling card...the Player's Choice for 2005 American League Player of the Year...David Ortiz.

Check out the account of the A-Rod blast from today's New York Daily News:

"A-Rod, who was 1-for-4 to that point and 6-for-his-last-31, got to a 3-1 count and then launched a towering drive toward the driveway that runs up between the visitors' bullpen and the left-field seats. He flipped his bat, clapped his hands together as he neared first, kissed them and pointed skyward as he reached the bag.

Rounding third he looked up to see his teammates crowded around the plate and grabbed his helmet with both hands, flinging it into the air in preparation for the standard pounding awarded all players who deliver game-ending homers.


Amidst the hysteria, Torre grabbed A-Rod in a bear hug, whispering simply "nice job" into his ear."

Ok...let's recap those three paragraphs with beautifully illustrated pictures, shall we?






A-Rod, who was 1-for-4 to that point and 6-for-his-last-31, got to a 3-1 count and then launched a towering drive toward the driveway that runs up between the visitors' bullpen and the left-field seats.



He flipped his bat,



clapped his hands together as he neared first,



kissed them and pointed skyward as he reached the bag.



(next paragraph)

Rounding third he looked up to see his teammates crowded around the plate,



and grabbed his helmet with both hands, flinging it into the air in preparation



for the standard pounding awarded all players who deliver game-ending homers.



(and)



(and)



(and)



(and)



(and)



(last paragraph)

Amidst the hysteria, Torre grabbed A-Rod in a bear hug, whispering simply "nice job" into his ear.








Just because you catch a fish, you're not necessarily a fisherman. Just because you hammer a nail, you're not necessarily a carpenter.

So, A-Rod, just because you hit a game-winning home run, you're not necessarily clutch.

And you're damn sure not David Americo Arias Ortiz. (hell, Joel Sherman of the New York Post even described it as "going all David Ortiz...).

One.

 
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