Are You Not Entertained? Is This Not Why You're Here?
It's Friday and thank God for that. (I might be the first person to ever have this sentiment... makes me want to open a bar/grille, put goofy shit on the wall, and serve mozzarella sticks.)
I couldn't think of any prose to write, at least none that made sense or was proper. It's not for lack of having any sort of opinions, knowledge of common facts, and/or current events.
So here is the return of the Top 5 lists. Feel free to agree, disagree, debate, discuss, or chime in with your own. Email
them along and I'll reprint them. Be sure to include your name, alias, or pseudonym and hometown.
-----Top 5 Rejected Names for the Chili Dog stand I'd open if I hit the lottery and didn't really have to work for a living
1. Raw Sewage
2. Ayatollah Ptomaine-y
3. Pigs' Lips & Assholes
4. Get Ready to Poop!
5. Chili'sTop 5 Obscure Red Sox/PawSox Names That Always Get A Chuckle When You Drop them Randomly in a "remember those guys?" convo with your friends.
1. Chico Walker
2. LaSchelle Tarver
3. Pat Dodson
4. Gary Miller-Jones
5. Arquimedez PozoTop 5 Things That Surprised Me More Than Lance Bass' Announcement that he is gay
1. Arab countries don't like Israel.
2. Red Sox fans like it when the Yankees lose.
3. Getting stung by a portuguese man-o-war really hurts.
4. When you take Ny-Quil, it makes you sleepy.
5. Lindsay Lohan does coke and sleeps around.Top 5 Talents I Bet You Didn't Know I Possess
1. Verbatim impression of the Dr. Evil monologue in Austin Powers.
2. A 12-6 curveball.
3. Snarky, cynical, sarcastic sense of humor (oh, you got that one? sorry.)
4. Terrific karaoke singer
5. Two words: nuclear physics (blatantly lying)Top 5 Favorite Beers and Proper Places to Enjoy Them
1. Pint of Smithwicks; the Oliver St. John Gogerty in Temple Bar, Dublin
2. Samuel Adams Summer Ale; the Black Pearl in Newport (with a bowl of chowder)
3. James Boag's Premium; Wildfire, Sydney Harbour, Sydney, Australia (a vintage shiraz is nice there, too)
4. (tie) Leffe or Delirium Tremens; De Burcht, Leiden, Holland
5. Miller Lite; pretty much anywhere if it's on someone else's tabTop 5 Songs I Kick Ass At in Karaoke
1. Bob Dylan's "Lay Lady Lay"
2. David Gray's "Be Mine"
3. Concrete Blonde's "Joey" (yeah, it's hard)
4. Oasis' "She's Electric"
5. U2's "Walk On" (well, I'm told it was good...or at the very least, impassioned and emotional)Top 5 Songs For "That Special Moment" (up to and including the couple in the his and her bathtubs, overlooking a vast valley at sundown, after he took Cialis...)
1. Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing"
2. Sade's "Cherish the Day"
3. Ben Harper's "Not Fire, Not Ice"
4. Ben Folds' "The Luckiest"
5. Bob Dylan's "Lay Lady Lay"Top 5 Numbers, ranging from 1-10
5. 11Top 5 Musical Moments/Eras/Concerts I Wish I Witnessed First-hand
1. Woodstock, 1969, Max Yasgur's Farm
2. Bob Dylan's Rolling Thunder Revue, MSG, Dec. 8, 1975
3. "Madchester" - Manchester, England during the transformation from Joy Division to the Happy Mondays
4. The Brian Jonestown Massacre's 10-hour show at the Ohio Communist Party in the mid-1990's
5. The Beatles at Shea Stadium, Aug. 1965The Next 5 on That List
6. U2, Nov. 8, 1987, Denver, "Sunday Bloody Sunday"
7. Frank Sinatra "The Main Event," MSG, 1974
8. Live Aid (the first one)
9. Any Grateful Dead show ever
10. The Newport Folk Festival, 1963-65Top 5 Things (that go well together) That I'd Like Right Now
1. A rootbeer float
2. A back massage
3. A place in Nantucket
4. A Dunkin Donuts coffee (large, skim, one sugar)
5. A swim in the ocean
Ok, that's all for now. Have great weekends; supposed to have great weather here in the MKE. Hope it's the same by you, wherever that be.
Your humble and obedient servant,