Tuesday, August 22, 2006
  Tuesday Night Turtles
So, um, anyone else think it might be a little bit more than just Shea Hillenbrand in regards to the Blue Jays problems?

I mean, the Shea-hey kid is a colossal d-bag, but Ted Lilly? No one's ever had an ill word to say about the consistent lefty pitcher.

So JP Ricciardi, who is it gonna be? Lou Pinella next? Ted Rogers and the hoser Godfrey family aren't going to like spending all those looneys and tooneys on a team that's still in third place...



Willie McGinest, get on the bus with Johnny Damon big fella.

No, the Patriots did not resign you. Yes, they realize you have some gas left in the tank. No, they do not want to pay $4 a gallon for said gas.

It's a business decision. The Patriots made one. You made a corresponding one. Just like Johnny Damon with the Sox and Yanks.

So move on. No pissing and moaning about the team you USED TO PLAY FOR issuing the number you USED TO WEAR FOR THE TEAM YOU USED TO PLAY FOR to newly inkedPro Bowl LB Junior Seau.

And besides, that argument is a bit foolish:

1. Junior Seau. He of the 12 Pro Bowls and probably the best linebacker in the history of the game Seau's. It's not like Freddie Coleman got it.

2. While the system of numerical values is infinite, the NFL's system of numerics for uniforms goes from 1-99. And they're segmented. So you can't just hold 55 because it used to be "Big Willie's."

It's a little different in baseball, and I think you'll be hard-pressed to see Joe Cochran hand out 5, 21, or 45 any time soon. JD might have a semi-quasi-legit beef as Dustan Mohr and Jason Johnson - two of the worst Red Sox to wear a uniform in the last 10 years- both donned #18 this season. Then again, there was a foolproof way to save #18...stay with the Sox. But that's a whole different breed of cat.


John Mark Karr? Business class, champagne, and king fried prawns?

Shampoo that shampoo. Fly him home on the wing.

I just hope he makes nice with the boys in L.A.'s "twin towers" prison. Child molesters rank pretty low on the food chain in jail. Child rapists/killers even lower.

(p.s. - I think he's making all this shampoo up. One sick publicity stunt by one sick mameluke.)


"Lachrymose." It means you cry a lot.

But what does that have to do with the size of the peas in the pod?

Nothing.

But using it means you're a gossip columnist trying to impress your readers with 75 cent words: http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/445612p-375224c.html

Please.

More Lindsay Lohan, less vocabulary tests.

(p.s. - no, I didn't have to look it up...pay me my three quarters)


Buster Olney remarked in an ESPN.com column that David Wells cleared waivers and can be traded.

Good idea jeans: he's old, he's got a few bullets left in the chamber, so why not deal him to a team and get a just-about-ready for primetime player in return. At this point, he's a better pitcher than Jamie Moyer. "Hello New York Mets? I'll take Royce Ring. K, bye."

Bad idea jeans: if you trade argubly your second-most consistent starter right now, then they should replace the red flag that flies on over from the left of the Yankees in the Bronx to a white flag. And combine the highest ticket price in baseball with the rest of the season being sold out already at the smallest park in the majors, what would the public backlash be?


Kate Moss...rule #7 in weddings: don't marry a crack head.


Ok, C'est ├ža. Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose.

YH&OS,
 
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