Let's Go Twins/Tigers, A's/Angels, Mets
So I guess congratulations are in order for the New York Yankees for winning another A.L. East title.
They sure do it the "right way," don't they? Everyone wears suits on the road and, boy, their hair is so neat. They do it the right way...so professional...so business-like...it's the Yankee Way.
Maybe in 1940's. But now? It's all a bunch of crap. Oh, they still make people stop at Bo-rics on the way to the Toilet off the Grand Concourse. But the Yankee Way...it's as much a facade as the one hanging from the top of the most overrated stadium in professional sports.
Because if the Yankee Way were the right way...and the winning way, then you wouldn't have the crap that's in this week's Sports Illustrated being written...by a Yankee sympathist, no less.
What kind of balls does Jason Giambi have? Sure, you can make the obvious answer - none - on account of his steroid use. But for him to call A-Rod out in SI
? Are you kidding me?
(god, am I defending A-Rod here? oh man, I need to see a doctor...)
Does A-Rod have the knack, seemingly, to not hit in the clutch and only in situations of grave indifference? Yeah, maybe. I don't have his situational game log from the last few seasons in front of me, but I do recall quite a few groundouts in the 2004 ALCS. Regardless, he puts up numbers.
But Giambi? Hey Jason, remember when you came to NY after winning the AL MVP? And Steinbrenner threw you a barge full of cash? And you had to exist in a clubhouse where the returning veterans were bitter because you were replacing a "Yankee legend" and World Series ring winner Tino Martinez? Remember how you brought your "personal trainer" along, rather than use the Yankee staff (I guess Gene Monahan doesn't have the good stuff). Remember when you used your dad as a hitting coach instead of the Yankees coach when you were in a slump?
Remember when you didn't have a friend in that clubhouse? Jeter, the clubhouse leader, shunned you?
I guess performance-enhancing drugs don't enhance your short-term memory, do they?
Or do you remember June, 2003, when Brian Cashman was overruled
on a decision to send you to the minors after your batting average was slightly over the legal blood-alcohol level for you to operate a motor vehicle in the state of New York?
Remember the "intestinal parasite" that made you hit about a buck-eighteen? And then the, um, pituitary gland problem? And the fact you went from someone the size of Mark McGwire to someone the size of Walt Weiss.
Sure, it was your no fast-food diet. And by no fast food, you meant no whoppers. And by no whoppers, you meant "I didn't inject shampooing mega deca turbo into my veins."
Remember that, Juicin, er, Jason? Remember how the Yankees were looking into finding a loophole to void your albatross of a contract if you had testified publicly that you used steroids?
Remember how, when after you decided it was time to indulge and hit up the Wendy's dollar menu, you began to hit again?
And you began to look like a first baseman, rather than a bat boy?
And you began to hit towering home runs again?
No one called YOU out? No, you were some sort of shampooing "hero" because you held a press conference to tell people that you were sorry for something you weren't going to tell people that you were sorry for. But you felt the need to call a presser and make sure people knew that. And you were sorry.
You know what? At last check, the Yankees are paying you the same as they are their third baseman. And also at last check, with you in a Yankee pinstriped uniform, the Bronx Bombers have won exactly nothing. So what does that make you?
You cheated. Then you sucked. And now you're probably back to cheating again.
Yet another thing A-Rod hasn't done while in a Yankee uniform.
"Yeah, what TLBR said. Signed, Mike Lupica."