Tuesday's Child Onto today's stuff...

** Congrats to all involved at the former employer for a great hire.

** Red Sox Opening Day - need I say more? Great job with the intros, with Dandy Don and Dave O'Brien. One thing struck me, though. Mike Lowell...he played on the '67 Sox "Impossible Dream" team, right?

** The second-best line of the week: "Dogs smell fear and so do closers." Good job, Gerry.

The best line of the week is a bit esoteric, and somewhat pointed, so I'll abstain. but she's a loyal reader, so I'd be remiss if I didn't point that out.

** Was thinking last night, with the "Walk-Off Sox" game on NESN. That might have been the last time Matt Clement pitched a solid game in a Red Sox uniform. Seriously. Six innings, six hits, four K's, three ER, three BB.

Now, if his rehab continues, he could be a nice late July/early August boost in the rotation. Because you know by then, there will be some really annoying and potentially painful doubleheaders. Rather than bring Abe Alvarez up for his annual twi-night beating, Clement could come in. He might not be the Answer, but he's better than David Pauley. Or Steve Ontiveros. Right?

** Ok, I have a solution - perhaps - to the Rutgers/Imus situation. If you've been living under a rock the last week or so, get out, dust yourself off, and find a computer with Google. Then type in "Nappy" and "Ho."

Bottom line - and apropos of nothing - Imus stopped being relevant in my book quite sometime ago. So, in addition to the reaction I had to his stupid comments, my second reaction was "He's still alive?" That being said, Rutgers is handling this with the highest level of class and dignity - as much as you possibly can after being publicly insulted in such a fashion. And Imus is, well, handling it with as much respect and dignity as he can muster (read: not too much).

His bosses' gave him two weeks off. It's called vacation. Their theory: he goes away and the story goes away. Right? Maybe. Either way, the "disciplinary action" does two things: a. saves face for CBS radio and MSNBC and b. guarantees their ratings will be off the shampooing chart on April 30. I mean, just astro-freaking-nomical.

My solution: have Dave Chappelle come up with a half-hour special on the incident. Why? Because Chappelle has done more for race relations, via the vehicle of humor, than anyone I can ever recall. He has brought folks of all ethnicities together...how?...by ruthlessly mocking them. Chappelle - along with Chris Rock and Martin Lawrence to some extent - is the only comedian to take on tough issues of race and stereotyping, break them down to their core, and build it back up in a way no one had before.

Chappelle would knock this one out of the park. He'd make it funny, he'd give it a level of respect and intelligence, and would do more than the simple dog-and-pony show of wordy statements, false apologies, PR damage strategies (and ultimately, the reward for those who are wrong) could ever do.

Ok, that's all. NESN time. Julian Tavarez gave Dice-K a big hug. How can you not love that guy? And Johnny Pesky - who for some un-shampooing-believable reason was banned from the dugout thanks to the good folks at MLB - came out to a standing O and was brought to tears.

That's what makes Opening Day what "it" is. That's what makes "it" special.

yh&os, I remain...  ¶ 1:36 PM