Monday, May 04, 2009
  April Showers Bring May Bloggers...
Off of the Isle of Elba, the self-imposed blog exile is on furlough, Willie Horton-style.

Remember Willie Horton? The furloughed criminal that committed unspeakable crimes while the dastardly liberal Michael Dukakis was governor of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts? Made you really reconsider who the real bad guy was then...unless you had a brain...which apparently very few of our countrymen had 21 years ago.

Well, driving in this morning (in the new vehicle...not new in the literal sense, but certainly in the possessive sense...) I heard two songs, back-to-back, that kind of summed up my previous night's television:

"Imagine" by John Lennon and "It's the End of the World As We Know It (and I feel fine)" by REM.

MSNBC, with it's all-Obama, all-hope, all-the-time programming, makes you forget that it's supposed to be objective news and not the Pax Network.

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

Swell, init? But we're still in the untenable (dare I say unwinnable) Iraq conflict, all the while Afghanistan is launching Taliban Vista (I'm a Mac), Pakistan continues to Ostrich all the problems around its borders, and old friend Yemen is looking at its Somali neighbors across the Gulf of Aden thinking, "hey, this anarchy thing isn't such a bad plan."

Then we have the Fox News, Ann Coulter/Sean Hannity/Dick Morris/Newt Gingrich cesspool crowd. Makes you want to buy a helmet. Or start a doomsday shelter in your basement. Canned peas, powdered milk, and a brand-spanking-new Sarah Palin model assault rifle. Good for killing raccoons and bunnies when the end is near, betchabygollywow.

That's great, it starts with an earthquake,
Birds and snakes and aeroplanes...

And the way things are being covered, even Lenny Bruce would be afraid of the global seventh sign that is the swine flu.

A local college here in the Biggest Little just held its commencement ceremonies...WITH NO HAND SHAKES. This due in large part to the, um, zero confirmed cases of the biggest thing to come along since, um, SARS. Which also killed zero people in Rhody. There are seven confirmed cases of people going to Mexico and getting colds.

Three other cases of people drinking too much Corona and waking up with a splitting headache have also been investigated.

I'd venture to guess that more people were afflicted with polio over the last year than will be "sick" with swine flu. This also coming from the Commissioner of Health, who said that "if you aren't feeling well and were planning on going to the doctor, you should still go."

Yes, I do believe he went to school for seven years for that grand plan. I'd revoke his pension, if it's still worth anything, after that stroke of genius.

Two songs, two messages (albeit, REM's was a wee bit sarcastic), two sentiments on how we see the world these days...good heavens...
While we're on the topic of music, apologies for being a little late to the Sunday dinner table, but just bought the Kings of Leon's new one "Only By The Night."

Wow, and I do mean wow, I don't think I've bought an album since Pearl Jam's "Ten" or Ray LaMontagne's "Trouble" where I had to stop and listen to every song and was floored by each and every track.

"Sex on Fire" is about as good a power ballad, hard-charging song as there has been in decades. And who doesn't love a good song about make-up sex?

It's all straight cash, homey.
Looking forward to the Sox playing their first three at Howard Lamade Stadium in Williamsport, Pa. the new Yankee Stadium.

But if they don't play tonight or tomorrow due to rain, I'm fine with that - won't have to worry about flipping back and forth between the Celtics and Bruins games.

(don't worry, my ankles are taped up tightly for the jumps on and off each team's respective playoff bandwagon...)
More on music (not moron music...), but I can't help but love Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You" song.

Sounds like since her split from Clive Davis, someone produced her latest shampoo on a Casio keyboard and a three drum set from "Rock Band" on PS2.

But I love it. What can I say?
Took a little vacay down to Key West (nice spot, probably needed two more days and 100 less beers, but it was nice) and brought with me one of two books that I could almost physically not put down: "The Unforgiving Minute," by Craig Mullaney.

Even though the author went to the same high school as I did, I'm not biased. It's an unbelievable book.

And if you haven't done "The Miracle of St. Anthony" by Adrian Wojnarowski, then set aside about a week and go belly-to-belly and back-to-back.
The next time Julio Lugo turns a double play, someone should buy him a shampooing ice cream cone or take him for pizza after the game.

How shampooing bad is he? Alex Gonzalez farts in your general direction, Theo Epstein.
Last bit about the Sox - and on the blog post - but it's 25 games and 14.1 innings into Manny Delcarmen's season and he just gave up his first earned run yesterday.

Ramon Ramirez is about the same in terms of innings thrown, and he allowed his first inherited runner to cross the plate - also in yesterday's game.

I'm perfectly content with this.

Perfectly content?

It IS the end of the world as we know it.

(RIP JG. Too young.)
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