News flash: One of the best players in the NBA has made a lucrative, long-term decision on a contract with his current Midwestern-based team.
Well, don'tcha just wanna know who it is?
Go to ESPN.com and see who it is.
Wait for it...wait for it...wait for it...
Nope, not LeBron. Although, the news that he'll provide news is the new sports media version of the cosmic worm hole. ESPN is legitimately reporting that ESPN has learned - through independent sources - that ESPN will broadcast the LeBron James decision.
And it's not the other sideshow in the NBA free agent goat rodeo - D-Wade and Bosh - although that gets the headline photo.
It's Kevin Durant. Second-year player out of Texas. Reigning NBA scoring leader. He inked a nice extension with the Oklahoma City Thunder and will stay there - get this, with no opt-out - through the 2015-16 season.
He'll be 27 years old at the end of this deal, probably pretty rich (80 someodd million can buy you some pretty hefty ranchland in Oklahoma...), and then he can really cash in or do what many NBA stars do at that time in their careers: chase the ring.
But you never heard word one from the Durant camp. No press conferences, no board meetings, no pleas from the citizens of OKC, nothing. His agent negotiated the deal and they announced it on his Twitter page.
This is refreshing.
All this other dreck - spare me.
As for other sports figures behaving badly, spare me as well.
JaMarcus Russell got caught with purple drank? The sizz-urup? Hard to believe that a guy who sleepwalked throughout his entire NFL career (past tense) would have a problem with codeine.
Michael Vick at a party where there was a shooting? No one's "snitching?" Might be time for Ron Mexico to take a swim in the Gulf of Mexico.
And Bobby Gonzalez. Career suicide tried calling you last week, but apparently your cell phone has been disconnected.